The Periwinkle Room
by Razzmatazz Lady
Summary: The basic trapped-in-a-room questions&answers story, except with lesser acknowledged characters Luna, Stan Shunpike, the twins. You can ask for advice or random stuff or request characters to be sent to the Periwinkle Room. I promise to update soon!
1. Chapter 1

The Periwinkle Room

"Why do people ony ask the Trio for advice and opinions?" complained Stan Shunpike one night while riding the Knight Bus. "I got opinions too, ya know! Don' you think I got good opinions, Ern? Sure, 'Arry Potter isn' the ony one. Right, Ern?"

Ernie only nodded in agreement. Stan was the talkative one. Ernie was just the driver. No one cared about them, really. If you weren't the Chosen One or the Chosen One's best friend or the Chosen One's best friend's little sister or the headmaster of Hogwarts, no one gave a fried pickle sandwich about your opinions.

But then an extraordinary thing happened! Stan Shunpike, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Percy Weasly, Severus Snape, Fred and George, and Moaning Myrtle all wished they could give fanfiction readers advice and opinions and random answers to random questions at the same time. This, as you would expect, touched the heart of Razzmatazz Girl, the fanfiction writer. Smiling, she devised a plan.

Five hours and a lot of sleeping hexes later…

"What the…" Snape muttered under his breath, slowly waking up. "Where am I? How did I get here? Potter! Granger! Weasly!"

To this came the reply of three harmonious 'yes's from Percy, Fred, and George Weasly. They were sitting in the corner of the periwinkle room in which Snape was also sitting. The brothers explained that they did not know how they had gotten there, sir, there were still a few people asleep, sir, and no, they did not think Potter was responsible.

"It doesn't seem to be You-Know-Who's work either," said Percy. "Look, whoever put us here seems to have taken the most random people they could find. Neville Longbottom, Loony Lovegood, Myrtle, and the conductor of the Knight Bus."

"Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard! Just stick out your wand hand- oh. Oh, sorry, didn' see you all…" Stan had been awoken by the sound of his vehicle's name and now trailed off awkwardly.

One by one the other three prisoners woke up and groggily asked what was going on. Each reacted in their own way. While Percy and Snape were both rather angry at their current predicament, Fred and George thought the situation was hilarious. Neville was quite worried and hoped he wouldn't get expelled for getting lost, but Luna seemed perfectly calm and explained that she was sure this was the work of gawkbats. And Moaning Myrtle just, well, moaned. And sobbed. And shrieked. And annoyed everybody.

"This is absurd!" yelled Snape. "Someone must have some idea as to why we're all here in this bloody room!"

"That would be me," said Razzmatazz Girl, coming out of nowhere. "You see, I heard your wishes last night and since I am the all-powerful fanfiction writer, I figured I'd help you guys out. Sooo… What do you think? Pretty radical, huh?"

"Why are you using slang from the 80's?" asked George.

"Cause it was a cool decade, obviously! Any other questions?"

"Um, yeah," continued Fred. "So we're here to answer questions from fanfiction readers? Like _Dear Abby_?"

"Sure, let's go with that. Actually they can ask for anything: advice, embarrassing stories, scenario questions, why you do certain things, opinions, and anything else their little hearts desire! But they're not allowed to bash you too bad or request the Trio, Ginny, or Dumbledore. They're not coming do you hear me?!(See how I snuck the rules and guidelines into the story?)"

"But everybody hates me," whined Myrtle. "Why do _I _have to be here?"

"Yeah, why does _she_ have to be here?" whined everybody else.

"And another thing," said Percy indignantly. "I did not wish to answer fanfiction readers' questions. I wished to give the _Ministry _advice and opinions."

"I didn't wish for that either!" yelled Snape. "I wished that all the people I despise would have to answer these idiotic questions!"

"My bad," said Razzmatazz Girl. "I guess I misheard-"

"And I wished that all the other fanfictions like this would do well, not that I'd be a part of one!" Neville exclaimed. Pretty soon everyone, except Luna, was yelling about what they did and did not wish for. Razzmatazz Girl decided she had better flee before this got out of hand. As she turned to leave wherever she'd come in, she yelled one last message to the readers.

"The chapters after this will probably be in script form, just because it's easier. Feel free to ask any question, although I probably won't allow any really profane ones, okay? You can request other characters to be in the Periwinkle Room (I might add Draco Malfoy ) but no REALLY main characters. Please ask questions! Have fun! The characters sure aren't! Oh, and please don't think I have terrible spelling/grammar; Stan's supposed to talk like that! Hm, I just realized Fred and Luna haven't actually talked this whole time. Oops! See ya next chapter!"


	2. Chapter 2

The Periwinkle Room

Razzmatazz Girl- Shello my little buddies! Guess what's on today's menu???

Stan- Fish n' chips?

Neville- Chocolate? I really like chocolate.

Snape- A way to escape this putrid lavender room?

Razzmatazz Girl- Umm…No, no, and no. And BTW Severus, this room is not _lavender_. It's periwinkle. There's a huge difference. On today's menu, we have questions!!! From a certain **crazzie-bunnies24****!**

Hey i like this idea i always wanted to ask questions to these characters. so here it goes.  
Snape: What is ur favorite cookie and what would you do if you had to teach with green hair for a week?( lol and i'm the one who turned your hair green.)  
Luna: Do you think that nargles have anything to do with me finding chewing gum in my hair this morning?  
Um... i can't think of anything else but i'll think up of more questions later.

Razzmatazz Girl- Yay for our first questions!

Fred & George- Yay!!!

Fred-(whispered) Is she completely off her rocker?

George-(whispered) I don't know, but this sure beats regular classes!

Fred-(whispered) Right you are, brother!

Razz- Okay, Severus, you're up first! What's your favorite cookie?

Snape- Well, I hardly ever eat cookies. They're for children. But if I had to choose one…I guess I'd have to say ginger snaps. They're the least sweet.

Fred, George, Neville-(whispered) Just like you.

Snape- And as for the hair question, first I would track down this "crazzie-bunnies" character. I would make sure she suffered.

Neville- In w-what way, s-sir?

Snape- You don't want to know. And for the rest of the week…I would say an idiot student like Longbottom ruined their potion with the result of my change in hair color. And any student who dared laugh at me would get detention for a month.

Razz- Wow. That was really… So yeah, moving on! Luna, you're up next!

Luna-(dreamily) Hmm. Nargles would definitely be my first assumption. They're very mischievous, you know. If you have any mistletoe, you can be sure it's nargles. They often infest it. To get rid of them you have to sprinkle parsley in every nook and cranny of your home while singing Irish folksongs. This works best at night under a new moon.

Percy- Thank God she didn't say a full moon.

Razz- I'm sure all the readers will appreciate your advice, Luna.

Percy- Are you sure it's nargles that stuck the gum there? I wouldn't rule out the possibility of Fred and George. They've done it to me a thousand times.

Fred & George- Never!

Razz- Hey, Weasley brothers! Cool your jets will ya? Sheesh. Okay, that's all the questions we have at this present time.

Stan- Why didn' anyone ask me any questions? :(

Razz- Awww. I don't know Stan, but I sure hope more readers ask questions (glares at readers and mouths "Or else")

Neville- Um, Miss um Razzmatazz Girl?

Razz- Yes, Neville?

Neville- Can we have some food now? We're all kind of hungry.

Everyone-(nods in agreement)

Razz- Sure thing, guys! Ginger snaps coming up!

Everyone but Snape-(angrily) Gee, thanks _Professor_.

**Author's Note: **HAHAHA! Hope y'all enjoyed that. Ask more questions!!!! Or no ginger snaps! Should I stick Draco in here????


	3. Chapter 3

The Periwinkle Room

Draco-(mumbled) What the…Where am I? H-how did I get here?

Razzmatazz Girl- Hiya Draco! What's shakin'?

Draco- Um…nothing that I know of. Who are you and why am I here?

Razz- I'm Razzmatazz Girl and you're here because I've received numerous (okay maybe just one) requests for you to be sent to the periwinkle room.

Draco- What's the periwinkle room?

Snape- The prison in which we are all trapped and must answer random and ridiculous questions about cookies and narbles.

Luna- Excuse me, but they're called _nargles_. But don't feel bad; it's a common mistake.

Snape- I don't make mistakes.

Draco- Professor? Loony Lovegood? Who else is here? Please don't Pothead, the mudblood, and the Weasel.

Percy, Fred, and George-(yelled) I resent that!

Razz- Calm down, my little red-haired trio. And no, Harry, Hermione, and Ron are not here. And they will not be coming. Nor will Ginny or Dumbledore.

Draco-(mumbled) Thank God for small favors. (Louder) Well who _is_ here then? Any other Slytherins? Other than Professor Snape?

Razz- No, not as of now. Neville's here and so is Stan Shunpike and Moaning Myrtle. And you already saw Severus and the Weasley brothers.

Draco- Myrtle and Dungbottom are here? :(

Razz-(uncharacteristically dangerous-looking) Watch it, Malfoy. I don't tolerate insults to the occupants of this room, got it?

Draco-(uncharacteristically intimidated) Yes, ma'am.

Razz- Don't call me ma'am!!! Call me Razzmatazz Girl or just Razz, but not ma'am. Like, gag me with a spoon!

Fred- There she goes with her 80's slang again.

Razz- So on with the questions! Ooooh, we got more questions from **crazzie-bunnies24**!

Here they are:

Woot! I think that you should definitely bring Draco in here. Yay ginger snaps I like'em with applesauce. Here's sum more questions.  
Stan: Sorry for not asking u a question but here's yours. What do you like about your job?  
Neville: Yay! I like chocolate too! Here's your question what's your favorite color and do have a crush on anyone? Don't worry bout Snape he's harmless.  
Snape's for you, You wouldn't be able to make me suffer because if you did, I would make sure everyone knew about what you keep in your desk (grins evilly) and make bubbles come out of your ears for a month. So don't push it. But here's another question, what do you like to do in your free time, besides reading and brewing?  
Percy: Quit being a tattletale and whine. Are you sure your not adopted because your not like your family?  
Fred and George: Hey you guys rock! I wish I had brothers like you. Anyways, What was the worst prank your guys every invented?  
OK that's it for now. More questions soon. Bye guys!

Draco- She put me in here? Hmm, the girl's got good taste.

Fred & George- Gag me with a spoon.

Razz- First question's for you, Stan!!!

Stan- All right… Hmm… Well, I gotta admit, my job's probly the best one out there. I like Ern; 'e 'as a good sense a humor. But the best part 'as gotta be the people ya get to meet. Like one time 'Arry Potter was on an' 'e woz all askin' bout Sirius Black an' coverin' 'is scar. An' one time 'ere woz a load a Death Eaters what escaped from some Aurors an' me an' Ern pretended we didn' know 'oo they woz. We alerted the Ministry right away, mind you. We woz regular 'eros. (Dreamily) Blimey, I love my job… (Stares off into space)

Neville- I didn't get a word of that.

Razz- Well, now that Stan's gone into his happy place, you're up Neville!!!

Neville- Um, okay. Well, first of all, I'm glad to meet someone with my infatuation for chocolate. S for my favorite color… That's a tough one. I like dark green because it reminds me of plants. I love Herbology. But light blue's nice too. As for the crush, I um don't really…um, you know… Even if I did like someone, I wouldn't just come out and say it! I mean, what if she doesn't like me back?

Draco- Ha! That means it's someone in this room. Otherwise, you wouldn't be worrying about her hearing. That narrows it down to Loony, Razzmatazz Girl, or Myrtle. That is assuming you like a _girl_.

Neville-(Embarrassed) Of course it's a girl!

Snape- Personally, I think it's Lovegood. They're both rather strange.

George- Yeah, that make sense. Ron has Hermoine and Harry has Ginny. Neville and Luna are kind of like leftovers.

Percy- I agree.

Neville-(Blushing like an adorable tomato) It's not Luna!!

Luna-(Coming out of a daze) What's not me?

Fred- That means you like Razzmatazz Girl. That's okay. She is kind of cool in a funny, kidnapper way.

Razz- Gosh thanks, Fred! You're really à la mode too!!! And I don't think Neville likes me because I haven't brought chocolate yet. But I will! :)

Neville- Can we move on?

Razz- Sure, Severus's turn to answer.

Snape-(Horrified) She knows what I keep in my desk???

Fred- Drugs?

Draco- A Harry Potter dartboard?

George- Victoria's Secret catalogs? That's what Percy keeps in his desk…

Razz- The Twilight Saga?

Everyone-(Dead silence) (Random cricket chirping)

Razz- Sorry, it's this stupid muggle thing. Big cult books and movies. Sparkling vampires and stuff of that nature…

Snape- Vampires don't sparkle. Anyway, to answer her question; I don't do much in my spare time. I read and I invent new spells and potions.

Razz- You must do _something_ else.

Snape- Well, if you must know…I listen to music sometimes. To calm my nerves.

Razz- Ooohh. What kind?

Snape- Er, classical?

Razz- Seriously, Severus?

Snape- Heavy metal. Metallica, Drowning Pool, Three Days Grace… Stuff of that nature.

Razz- I love Three Days Grace!! We're totally on the same wavelength, Severus! Crazy, isn't it??? Percy, you ready for some serious answering, man?

Percy- Answering? More like defending! I never whine! I can't remember the last time I whined! I didn't even complain when I got stuck in this stupid room! (Continues complaining)

Razz-(whispered) Is he aware that his rant is contradicting his point?

Percy- And of course I'm not adopted! Have you seen my hair? I'm smart like Charlie. I'm responsible like Mum. I work at the Ministry like Dad. I even have my own desk- (stops suddenly and glares at Fred & George) How did you guys know what's in my desk?

Fred-(grinning) We didn't…

George-(grinning) …Until now.

Percy- Aaaarrrggh!!! (Starts chasing Fred & George around the Periwinkle Room)

Razz- Um Percy, do you mind? The twins have to answer their question.

Percy- Sure. Fine. Whatever.

George- This girl _does_ have good taste! We do rock after all… The worst prank we ever pulled??? What do you think, Fred?

Fred- I'm not sure if she's referring to our worst prank as in worst outcome or worst as in best. I suppose we should go with the outcome. What say you?

George- Sounds good. Oh, I know the worst one! Remember that one we played on Dad? With the floo powder and that Spanish lady?

Fred- Oh God, how could I forget? Mum and Dad were ready to have our heads. Not to mention the Floo Administration. They almost got our wands taken permanently.

Razz- This I've got to hear.

Fred- Well, it was a while ago. We were, what, about 12? Anyway, every day Dad would come home-

George- By floo powder-

Fred- And he'd be all exhausted and cranky. Well, Dad's never really cranky you know, but about as close to it as possible for him.

George- So we thought maybe we could make the trip more _amusing_. Fred and I found this great way to manipulate the floo system so that no matter where Dad said he wanted to go he would go somewhere else. Except it turned out he just went to the Spanish witch's house a bunch of times each day.

Fred- He had to take that muggle thing, the bus, to work and everywhere else. Not to mention, Mum thought he was having an affair.

Everyone- Say what?!

Fred- The Floo Administration sends letters informing you of repeated uses of thee Floo system; they send us one every time we have to go back to Hogwarts. So, Mum sees Dad going to this random lady's house all the time and gets the wrong impression. Dad was oblivious as always…

George- Since we started the problem we figured we should fix it. Only we weren't certain how to do that. So we kind of winged and ended up…

Fred- …Totally busting up the Floo system.

Everyone- Say what?!

Fred- Turns out all witches and wizards in the England who used the system were ending up in this lady's house. She was super freaked out. She told the Ministry it all started with "this really apologetic hombre named Arturo Weasley." It didn't take long for them to get she was talking about Dad. So the Ministry comes and starts yelling about how someone in this house has broken the English Floo system and they're gonna fire Dad if he doesn't out who did it.

George- And Mum comes downstairs sobbing and starts whacking Dad with this broom, talking about how he's a total…Well maybe that's not really appropriate for a K+ rating. Anyway, Ginny and Ron were really young so they're like geeking out because of Mum and Dad and the Ministry. So, we fessed up. I've never seen Mum and Dad so angry. And the Floo Administration said we would never practice magic again and we would be kicked out of Hogwarts.

Fred- But all's well that ends well and all that. :)

Razz- Wow. You. Guys. Are. Muy Loco.

**Author's Note: **Wow… This chapter was muy long! I think my computer had an aneurysm from all that Stan-talk! LOL! If you can't tell, I love Neville and Neville/Luna romance. OMG, the Percy's Victoria's Secret thing was fun to write. :) For anyone who noticed or cares, the "Sure. Fine. Whatever." Line is from the X Files. BEST SHOW EVER!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

The Periwinkle Room

**Author's Note: **I'm just throwing it out there that I am probably the most dedicated authoress ever!!!! When I don't know what a word or phrase is, do I just ignore it? You can bet your blue fuzzy socks I don't!!!! No, instead I look it up so I can please my super-nice readers. Readers readers readers readers. OK, not to be totally ADHD but real quick type 'readers' with one finger. It's really fun. ANYWAY, I looked up 'glomp' (Black Alice Butterfly) and 'Paramore' (.marauders.). It turns out I really like one of Paramore's songs (Misery Business) and didn't even know it was by them. I really hope to goodness she meant Paramore the band…

Razz- Guys, we got a busload of questions and a request!!!!! Everyone, if you don't already know her and her bartending skills, meet Madam Rosmerta!

Everyone-(monotone) Hello, Madam Rosmerta.

Madam Rosmerta- Sheesh, you all sound like you're at an AA meeting. Cheer up; I brought butterbeer!

All- YAY!!!

Draco- So who sent questions today?

Razz- Well, our first are from **Bittersweet x**.

Haha I love this story. Yknow what, I shall give a question :)  
Right. To Moaning Myrtle: Hiya Myrtie! See there's this one thing I don't understand. In the second book I mean, ahem ahem, remember that headless ghost party thingy you went two in Harry's year two? Well, Peeves called you pimply. Which I don't really get because seriously? Ghosts don't have pimples! So, yeah, clear me up a bit on that?  
And also, to Fred and George: You guys are awesome! :) Do you ever feel as if you are tired of being lumped together as one and want to be separate?  
And ALSO, to… hmm...Snape! Right, Snape? Are you really a vampire?  
Oo, this is fun, I can't stop! Stan--when were you first employed? And Malfoy? Can you do the hula? If so, please demonstrate. :)  
Hope you liked my questions, all. And I LOVE this story so far, so please update fast!

Razz- Myrtle, you finally got a question. Woopie-fizz.

Neville-(whispered) Is it just me, or did that sound a little forced?

Myrtle- Aaagh! How can she even listen to anything that awful Peeves says?! (Much more calmly) Actually, ghosts end up looking how they did when they died. So, excuse me if I went out with a few blemishes!!! (Lets out a wail and flies away)

George- And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Myrtle has only been asked one question.

Razz- OMG! (In the Joker's voice) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight's entertainment. Sorry, that just popped into my head… Fred & George, you guys are next, buds!

Fred- Hmm… It's ironic that the reader asks this by saying Fred and George. Well, personally, I don't mind. I mean, George is my best friend and we are alike in so many ways. What say you, brother?

George- I don't really mind the lumping. I just don't get why they always put your name first. What's wrong with 'George and Fred'?

Razz- I don't think it's quite as catchy. It's like Scully and Mulder. (Another X Files reference)

Snape- Or black and white.

Stan- Or peanut butter and jelly.

Luna- Or gawkbats and wifflebogs.

Everyone- No, Luna. It's not like that.

Razz- Besides, George, that just means we save the best for last! ;)

George- Hmmm, good point. :)

Razz- All righty, now that George is happy, Severus you-

Snape- I AM NOT A VAMPIRE!!!!!!!

Razz- Either I just left the caps lock on or Severus is really ticked…

Snape- Get a bloody mirror!!! Or some garlic or a cross!!! Why does everyone think I'm a vampire?

Razz- I don't know. Do you sparkle in the sunlight? Just joshing ya. The jet-black hair, pallid complexion, and billowing black robes might have something to do with it.

Snape- Well, either way, I am most certainly NOT A VAMPIRE.

Razz- There goes that darn caps lock again… Stan, when were you first employed?

Stan- Straight outta 'Ogwarts when I woz seventeen.

Razz- So that's when you started working on the Knight Bus?

Stan- Actually…I firs' worked at this lil' shop in Liverpool. Twoz a muggle shop an' I couldn' do no magic.

Razz- What'd the shop sell?

Stan- wmnrprdts…

Everyone- :|

Razz- You mind saying that one more time?

Stan- wmnrprdts…

Razz- Okay, we're obviously having some failure of communication. I'm not picking up……words?

Stan- wmnsarprdts.

Razz- I don't even know if that was a question or a declarative statement.

Stan- womnsairprduts.

Razz- Enunciate! Enunci-

Stan- WOMEN"S 'AIR PRODUCTS!!!!!!

Razz- How do you even communicate with anybody?

Draco- You sold women's hair products?! That's hilarious!!! LOL!!!

Razz- I wouldn't LOL too hard if I were you. You're up next.

Draco-(horrified) The _hula_? 8^[

Luna- Can you? My great aunt can and she's 136.

Razz- Well, there you go Draco. You're competing with a 136 year old. Let's see what you got.

Draco-(blushing) Fine. (Precedes to do the hula. The Weasely brothers are rolling on the ground laughing. Snape, Madam Rosmerta, and Neville are laughing to themselves. Razzmatazz Girl and Luna are the only ones not laughing.)

Razz- Very impressive. Now, if you'll all excuse me just a moment. (Apparates out of room. Ultra-loud laughter can be heard through the walls. =D)

Razz- Right, I'm back. Thank you Bittersweet x. Keep reading!!! Our next questions are from .marauders. Whoo-Hoo!!!

Question for Draco: Is it true you have a crush on Luna? I won't believe you if you say no. Or if you blush.  
Questions for Luna: Would you jump off a bridge if a winged snargle-tooth bloomy told you to? Do you prefer the letter 'V' or 'D'? (I like 'V') Are you a vegetarian? Is your dad? Am I asking too many questions? Should I dye my hair dark purple with black highlights? Do you like paramore?  
That's seven questions. I'm sorry.

Draco-(horrified) First the hula and now this? I hate this bloody room!!!! I do NOT like Lovegood, she's not in Slytherin! And she's completely insane!

Luna- Dad says I'm only half. :(

Neville- She's not that bad, Malfoy. Besides, she's the one being insulted by the assumption that someone like you would like her. :(

Everyone- Ooooo burn.

Percy- I think that officially proves who does and doesn't have a crush on Luna.

Neville- What? No no no, I was just…I don't…Why do I even bother?

Razz- Teeheehee… Okiedokums, Luna you've got quite a few questions!

Luna- A snargle-tooth bloomy? Hmm, that's a hard one. They are famous for tricking unsuspecting victims, but that's only the European ones. The South American bloomies often dare people to do dangerous things and, if you're willing to take the dare, they give you 300 sapphires. So I guess it would depend on where I was at the time. I prefer the 'V' as it so happens, why do you ask?

Razz- She can't hear you, Luna.

Luna- Oh…I am not a vegetarian actually, nor is my father. We both like dragon's liver far too much.

Everyone- Gag me with a spoon!

Luna- No, of course you're not asking too many questions. :) As for dyeing your hair, that's up to you. Purple is one of my favorite colors…

Razz- Me too!!!

Luna- But I also like blue a lot…

Razz- Me too!!!

Luna- What's a 'paramore'????

Everyone- ?????

Razz- It's a muggle band that plays rock/metal with a lead singer who's a girl except I don't remember her name but everyone, like, loves her! They sing Misery Business, which is a really good song that I always turn up in the car!!!!!

Everyone- …

Razz-

Stan- Oh, right 'cause we wizards always use the Internet.

Razz- And don't be sorry for the seven questions!!! They are appreciated!!! (I am sooo sorry if you meant some other form of 'paramore'. It wasn't capitalized, so I sorta guessed. Whatever!) Anyway, we got some sweet questions from Black Alice Butterfly!

-Stares at the computer screen-  
wow.  
XD  
-coughs- ANYWAY! Back to my uh, insanity.  
ANYWAY.  
Fred and George: Ok...first things first. Have you ever attempted to blow up hogwarts using Snape's potions?  
Snape/Snappette: now now, don't get angry if they said yes...but! If the authoress can take requests (Which I really hope she does) I would really like for you to wear mistletoe on your head and see if you get nargles.  
Luna: -glomps her- Omigosh! You're my favorite character! Oh and question. Have you ever been to wonderland?  
Draco Malfoy: where the hell do you get your bleach to dye your hair? and...request! I would LIKE for him to wear a pink sparkly tutu and wear his hair with ribbons, but this is up to the authoress.  
ok, I'm done with my rather long and stalker-ish review. -glomps the authoress- got to loff ya~  
-dumps a whole bunch of sweets for them to eat and disappears in a poof of smoke-

Fred-(whistles) That's one dedicated weirdo.

Razz- Fredrick! You will not refer to the readers as weirdoes. Wow, I never realized weirdoes had an 'e' after the 'o' until Word underlined it. Weird. Anyhow, Fred & George, the floor's all yours.

Fred & George- Hmmm… We plead the fifth.

(Wow, that's such a blooper. Fred & George are from England, so they probably don't even know the 5th amendment. Not to mention they're from the wizarding world.)

Snape- That means they have! I knew it!!! It wasn't my mistake last year; it was your prank!!! You can be sure Professor Dumbledore will hear about this!!!

George- Now now…

Fred- …don't get angry…

George-…if they said yes. =D

Razz-(squealing) Requests??? I haven't gotten any requests!!!!! Oh boy oh boy!! What should I do???

Snape- Say no, say no, say no!!!

Weasley brothers- Say yes, say yes, say yes!!!

Razz- Oh, what the heck? Snape, here's some mistletoe.

Snape- I hate you.

(Everyone takes a few precautionary steps away from the now mistletoe-wearing professor.)

Luna- Was I just glomped? That's never happened to me before. Felt a bit odd…

Fred- It feels a bit odd the first time, but it won't always.

George- I've done my share of glomping.

Neville- I've never been glomped before.

Draco-(sarcastic) Well, there's a surprise.

Razz- I was also glomped. It is greatly appreciated. :) BTW,

Glomp, verb: to hug aggressively; to run, jump, and hug someone with force

Razz- If that conversation sounded like a lot of innuendoes thrown together, you have a dirty mind! ;) Anyway, Luna, get on with it!

Luna- I've never had the pleasure of visiting Wonderland, no. Dad has though and he says it's especially lovely in the springtime. He and the Mad Hatter are very good friends as it so happens.

Razz- I just can't wait for Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton style!!! TIM BURTON ROCKS!!!! I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Yeah…

Draco- How dare she! My hair color happens to be completely natural, thank you very much! Even if it wasn't, I'm a wizard; I could just use magic. Not bleach!

Razz- Um, Draco, I know you're already in a bad mood, but she made a request…

Draco- NO. No, no, and no again. Negative. Permission not granted. No estoy contento. Attempt and perish. Nyet. Proceed with caution.

Razz- Okay, the ribbons thing is a little cruel, but the tutu's not unreasonable. Let's just try it out-

Draco- NOOO!!!

Razz- Hold him down.

(Fred, George, and Percy struggle to hold Draco still while Razzmatazz Girl accios a tutu and uses magic to stick it on.)

Madam-(giggling) I think it looks very masculine.

Razz- Well, that was interesting… Hey, she left you guys a bunch of sweets!! :)

Everyone- YAY!!!!!!! (Glee!)

Author's Note: VERY long chapter, but so fun to write!!! OK, those lines that are underlined in me & Stan's conversation are straight outta The Dark Knight interrogation spoof made by MonkeyandApples on Youtube! IT IS THE FUNNIEST YOUTUBE VIDEO I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!! It helps if you've seen the movie (which also rocks!) Oh, and what does XD mean?? Is it a smiley face or what??? Keep reading!!!


	5. Chapter 5

The Periwinkle Room

**Author's Note: **How do y'all???I'm back with requests for characters and more fantastic questions!!! OH, and now I know XD is a smiley face, so thanks a billion!!!! I like exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you couldn't tell. XD

Razz- HHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Snape- Someone's hyper.

Razz- Yup, just drank two mugs of vanilla/cinnamon coffee and I'm on my second cup of caffeinated-iced tea. Actually, now I'm drinking Gatorade.

Stan- I 'ope this place 'as got a bathroom.

Draco- I already checked. It doesn't.

Madam- And we all drank a dozen mugs of butterbeer. (winces)

Razz- It's okay guys! I'll just do an anti-urination-sensation charm.

Snape- I'm pretty sure that doesn't exist. **:7|**

Fred- So, did we get a ton of questions, dear authoress?

Razz- I believe we did. So let's get to it!!! We get to hear from **Bittersweet x**!!!

**XD is like :D. :D :D :D**

**That was not forced, Neville! That is how I naturally speak, uh, type, during**

**reviews! Hmmph…**

**Yes, yes, I feel like asking several more questions.**

**Myrtle…hi…how are you? Yes, I do feel like being nice to ghosts today. How**

**old were you when you kicked the bucket?**

**Stan: Yo. Did you honestly believe Harry's name was Neville Longbottom on the**

**Night Bus? Cuz, siriusly?**

**Snape: HELLO, GREASY ONE! How does your hair get so greasy? Do you put, like, buckets of car oil in it or something?**

**Neville: Are you really in love with Luna?**

**Luna: If a purple snorgamogag tapped you on the shoulders and asked you for directions to Gallinata, what language would you speak? Also, if you were a**

**Crumple-Horned Snorcack, what color would your horn be? Also, did you ever**

**forgive your father for selling out your friends? Also, that 'friends' thingy in your room is so sweet…where did you learn to paint like that?**

**GEORGE AND FRED: Happy? (George…and Fred? Gettit?) And George, how does it feel to have one ear?**

**Also, authoress: Could you invite Hedwig and Pig into this room? It'd be fun :P.**

**That's a bit too many questions…but ah, well, you don't have to answer every**

**one if you don't want to! :) Loved this chap, btw.**

Myrtle- I get another question? XD! Well,I'm all right I suppose. Although I'd feel better if Harry was here. (Sniffs)

Draco & Snape- Gag!

Myrtle- I was fourteen when I "kicked the bucket" as you so rudely put it. That ridiculous basilisk just strolled in and killed me!!!

George- I'm pretty sure basilisks don't stroll.

Myrtle- Whatever!!!

Razz- Stan, you're up next sweetums!!

Stan- First of all, it's the Knight Bus, not the Night Bus. It's spelled wif a K.

Razz- Wow. You actually said one sentence without my computer going ballistic.

Stan- Anyway, I had never met 'Arry Potter and 'e wasn' in the Prophet every day like now, so I 'ad no idea what 'e looked like. Besides the scar, I mean.

Neville- What's wrong with the name Neville Longbottom? :(

Everyone- Um…Nothing.

Snape- AAAARRRGGGHH!!!!! Did she seriously just call me Greasy One???!!!

Razz- Just answer the question, Severus.

Snape-(confused) What question??

Razz- Oh no!!! He's got nargles!!

Luna-(screams) OOOOOOHH NOOOOO!!!!!!!

Snape- Curse this bloody mistletoe!! Oh wait… Now I remember the question. :) No, I do not pour buckets of car oil on my hair. I don't even own a car! My hair is naturally this way. I could wash it a hundred times a day and it would still turn out greasy. Why can't everyone just stop talking about? :(

Razz- Aww…It's okay Severus. My hair's too thick.

Percy- And mine's too red.

Draco- And no one believes mine is natural.

Snape- Thanks. You all are very nice and- (Stops and looks horrified) Did I just thank someone and then start to compliment them? O.O

Razz-(gleefully) Yupperdoodles!

Luna- It must be the nargles.

Razz- Neville, you ready my homeskillet?

Neville-(blushing) This is absurd. I do not like Luna!

Luna- Why not, Neville? Did I do something wrong? :(

Neville- No! I mean I do like you, just not in that way. I am not in love with Luna. I mean, I do love her…it's just…not in that way. Friend-love. We're just friends. Y'know???

Everyone- Oh we know all right. (wink wink)

Luna- I don't. That confused the heck out of me. Anyways, I would speak Russian of course! That's the only language purple snorgamogags understand! If I were a Crumple-Horned Snorcack, my horn would be silver. All British female snorcacks have silver horns.

Fred- What about British males?

Luna- Theirs are a sort of Indian Summer.

George- Oh, right.

Luna- Of course I forgave my father! He was just trying to save the only family he had left! After Mother died, Dad became rather protective of me. But I know his heart is always in the right place.

Everyone- (Wipes their eyes)

Luna- Thanks for the compliment. No one really taught me to paint; it's just something I've always loved. I love any type of art.

Razz- Me too!!!

George- Woo hoo!!! My name came first y'all!!!!!

Fred- Don't get your knickers in a bunch.

George- Feels rather strange to have one ear, to tell you the truth. It's like I can't hear much on that side.

Fred- (Moves to side where George has no ear) Yeah, so I can stand here and say he's a stupid bloke and I'm the good-looking one and he doesn't hear me!

George- I said I can't hear much, not that I can't hear anything, you moron. (Smacks Fred upside the head.)

Razz- Everyone better duck.

Everyone- Why??? (Hedwig and Pig swoop into room. Pig is tweeting and fluttering like he's having an aneurysm.)

Madam- That is one hyper pigeon.

Draco- I think it's an owl.

Razz- Right, moving on. Thank you Bittersweet x!!!! Now we have questions from **Very Small Prophet**!!!

Snape- Why would we answer questions from any prophet, let alone a very small one??

Razz- Cool your jets, Severus. She's a big fan of yours. Anyways…

Snape: Assuming you could get rid of Dumbles, Snake-face, and all the nasty little dunderheads, what would you like to do with your life? Do potions research? Sing opera (you're just born to play Hagen)? Dedicate yourself to bloody vengeance against anyone who has ever harmed you? Lie under a palm tree in Tahiti sipping on exotic recreational potions? Come on, dream big!  
Percy: Why don't you blow this Potterverse where no one appreciates the existential suffering of a bureaucrat and get a job replacing Dilbert in the funny papers?  
Mrs. Norris: What is Argus Filch really like?  
Moaning Myrtle: What is the Ty-D-Bowl Man really like?  
Fred and George: Why weren't you two sorted into Slytherin? You're tricksters, not heroes. Besides, you could keep Draco in line, and maybe teach him to dance the hula.

Snape-(staring off into space) No more dunderheads… Well, I wouldn't sing opera. Maybe something a little more hardcore. Drowning Pool style.

Neville- I've heard them. They scare me.

Snape- I'm not a big fan of the tropics, as it so happens. So Tahiti is out of the question. I wouldn't mind moving to Scotland. I hear they have a lot of rare herbs there. I could brew potions all day long…

Razz- Aww…Severus is happy!

Percy- Finally! Someone who understands the stress I have to deal with every day!!

Fred & George- The stress of flipping through Victoria's Secret catalogs?

Percy- Shut up!!! You just don't understand my extensile suffering.

Razz- Existential.

Percy- That's what I said. Anyways, I could replace Dilbert, I suppose. Although, I don't know how I'd handle life without magic.

Razz- Ummm…I gotta go find Mrs. Norris. BRB!!!

(Awkward silence…)

Snape- So, Madam Rosmerta, how are things at the Three Broomsticks?

Madam- Good, good. How are things…in the dungeon?

Snape- Okay, I can't do small talk.

Razz- That's okay! I'm back with Mrs. Norris!! (Razzmatazz Girl is covered in scratches.)

Everyone- Oh, joy.

Razz- Can anyone here understand cat-talk?

Neville-(raisng hand) Um…I c-can. But I'm not sure how well.

Razz- Good! Mrs. Norris, what is Argus Filch really like?

Mrs. Norris- Meow meow meow.

Neville- He's very nice to me.

Norris- Meow meow purrr.

Neville- He lets me eat all the mice I find.

Norris- Meow murr meow meow purr.

Neville- That was a little shaky. You wanna run that last thing by me again?

Norris- Meow. Meow. Purr.

Neville- Oh! He always treats me with respect, even when he's in a bad mood.

George & Fred- Which is all the time.

Norris- Hissssssssss!!!!

Neville- And he hates children just like I do because they're all worthless hooligans.

Razz- Well…That was…weird. Myrtle, your turn!!

Myrtle- What's a Ty-D-Bowl Man?

Everyone-??????????

Razz- Nothing you need to know about. George and Fred, why weren't you sorted into Slytherin?

Fred- Because we would never-

George- shame our family-

Fred- by getting sorted into that-

George- God-awful house!!!!!!!

Razz- You are both very cunning though. It's a reasonable suggestion. I always thought Percy would do well in Slytherin.

Percy- What?! I wouldn't be caught dead in that #!$&?% House!!!

Razz- Calm down. You could teach Draco to do the hula.

Fred & George- (Laughing) Yeah, he could use some help!

Draco- I'm right here guys! Besides, I thought I did the hula quite well.

Razz- Okay! More questions from **crazzie-bunnies24**!!!!

Hey Guys sorry for not asking more questions recently but to make up for it here's some chocolate frogs and sugar quills AND… Some more questions.(everyone forgive me?) Snape: Hey Snapy! You go first for my torture of questions. OK here's your question. What would you do if I set your storeroom on fire and that to put it out you would have to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and make bubbles come out of your wand? (Runs to Snape's storeroom at Hogwarts with magical matches and some marshmallows)  
Madam Rosmerta: What do you like about your job the most?  
Draco: Don't lie that you don't color your hair because I found some pictures of you coloring your hair and what are you going to do about it?  
Stan: Hey don't be embarrassed about your first job. SO here's your question where did you get that talking head from 'cause I want one?  
Fred & George: What is the best joke you played at Hogwarts that included the professors too?  
Moaning Myrtle: Hey Myrtle why did you let Harry and his buddies into your place in second year anyways?  
Luna: Hey Luna I like blue also! OK who do you have a crush on and what do you like about them? And does your dad talk to the Mad Hatter often and have you every met him?  
Neville: Hey Nev what would be the best plant you could receive? Be it a muggle or magical plant.  
Percy: Why do you have to be all snobbish and stuck up and annoying?  
Thanks u guys for answering my questions!! Looking at the pretty flames in the storeroom while roasting marshmallows.

Razz- Snape, my man, you're up first!

Snape- Well, if you did that, I suppose I would have to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and make bubbles come out of my wand. Then I would kill you. Then I would use my magical skills to revive you and kill you again. Then I would revive you and kill each of your body parts. Then I would-

Razz- We get it; lots of pain. Shouldn't you be running to your storeroom angrily?

Snape- Oh, right. (Starts running, but he just smacks into wall and falls down unconscious.)

Razz- Oops. I guess you really can't get out of this room. Sorry, Severus. Madam Rosmerta?

Madam- Well, I've always loved talking to people. So getting all the customers is great. I love when all you students come in for you Hogsmeade trips. But I also really love cooking. When I first graduated, I seriously considered becoming a muggle chef.

Razz- And McDonalds would have gone out of business. :)

Draco- I DO NOT COLOR MY HAIR!!!!!!

Razz- Seriously, what's with my caps lock?

Draco- Those pictures must be fake! Where did you get them?

George& Fred- Not from us, that's for sure…

Draco- Aaarrgh!!!

Stan- My talkin' 'ead? I got it from a little shop in Diagon Alley back when I was twelve years old. It was a gift for my cousin, but she didn' want it. Said it was disgustin'. So I kept it for myself. Why put a perfectly good 'ead to waste?

Razz- Why indeed.

Fred- Our best prank with the professors?

George- That'd have to be the one when we gave them all youth serum.

Neville- You _what_?

Fred- Youth serum, very hard to come by. We slipped into all th teachers drinks and they had to go to school like regular students for a week.

George- About ten days. It was bloody hilarious.

Snape- It was not hilarious. You should have been expelled!

Razz- Myrtle's turn.

Myrtle- Well, it was getting rather boring. I don't much care for the Granger girl, but Harry is very nice to me. Ron was obnoxious at first, but now that I see the brothers he has to deal with, I guess it's acceptable.

Fred, George, Percy- Hey!

Myrtle- I guess I was just lonely…

Luna- Do you need a hug?

Razz- You can't hug a ghost.

Myrtle- (Sobs and flies away.)

Razz- Oh, my bad. Sorry, Myrtle! I wasn't- I didn't mean…Oops.

Luna- She likes blue too! We have something in common! Who do I have a crush on? Hmm…no one that can think of. Neville, I suppose.

Everyone- SAY WHAT??!!!

Neville-(faints)

Luna- Neville is sweet and caring. He's brave in the way that he doesn't care what other people think. No matter how bad things get, he keeps going and stays loyal to his friends and family. That's real bravery. I like Neville a lot.

Razz- Finally!!! The one piece of dialogue J.K. Rowling forgot!!!!!!!

Draco- Was that really you talking, Loony, or the authoress's mad obsession with the Neville/Luna shipping?

Razz- Quiet, Draco.

Luna- My dad talks to the Mad Hatter whenever he gets the chance. I have talked to him a few times. He's a very sensible man. I also met the Caterpillar. He's very nice. He'd make a good Ravenclaw.

Razz-(waking up Neville) Um, Neville, you wanna get up buddy? You have a question.

Neville- Sorry, I must have passed out.

Draco- Fainted.

Neville- I had the weirdest dream… Um, the best plant? Well, I've always wanted to see a Venus Fly Trap up close. I guess that would have to be my answer.

Percy- Why does everyone hate me??????????????

Razz- I don't!

Percy- Um, I'm trying to speak, so don't interrupt me. Anyways… I never do anything wrong; everyone's just jealous that I have a good job!!

Razz- Percy, I don't think your snobbish and stuck-up and annoying.

Percy- Do you mind? I'm trying to talk here. God. I work hard all day long and no one even appreciates it!!! And I keep one little catalog in my desk and everyone just loses their mind!

Razz- Percy, I-

Percy- Seriously, stop talking!! It's my question and-

Razz- Percy. Shut. Up.

Percy- Sorry.

Razz- Okay, time for butterbeer and sweets!!!!!!!!

Everyone- (wincing)

Razz- Oh…And bathroom breaks!!!!!

**Author's Note: **Hope everyone had fun with that insanity!! VERY LONG chapter!!! Did anyone else think the Neville/Mrs. Norris translation thing was weirdly funny?? The whole Drowning Pool scary thing is written from experience. I turned on Let the Body Hit the Floor and it was really quiet, so I turned it up really loud and he started screaming and it gave me a heart attack! I love making up all this random-crap facts for Luna to spurt out! So yeah…I'm big on the Neville/Luna. See ya!!!!!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

The Periwinkle Room

**Author's Note: **All you readers are soooo nice. Honestly, I did not expect to get this much kind feedback. So give yourselves a round of applause. And if anyone looks at you like your crazy, don't blame me! I'm listening to I Hate Everything About You right now. Just thought you'd like to know. =D Oh, and thanks to anyone who put this story on story alert or favorite story, etc.

Razz- How is everyone today?????

Everyone- Fine.

Stan- You seem like you're in a 'specially good mood today.

Razz- That's because I'm finally done with my freaking retarded gay lame research paper. Which deserves to die in a horrible fire, by the way.

Snape- Wow. Did you just have an angry outburst?

Razz- Yeah, ya wanna make something out of it?

Snape- No, thank you. Let's just get these questions over with. Maybe someone will request to get rid of this mistletoe.

Neville- Maybe people will ask me actual questions instead of just tormenting me about my secret crush on Luna…I mean nonexistent…nonexistent crush.

Razz- We get more questions from **.marauders**!!!!

**Umm... okay, Percy: do you prefer the regular Victoria's secret, or the swimsuit edition? ;D mwuhahahahaha**

**Fred & George: My sister has a crush on a boy at her school, and he doesn't notice her. Should I tell her to prank him? It seems like the way to a man's heart to me. He's a lot like you two; the girl obviously has good taste! ;)**

**Okay, seeya buddies...**

Fred & George-(laughing insanely) Which do you prefer, Percy???

Percy- I refuse to answer that.

Razz- Answer the question, Percy.

Percy-(defiantly) NO!

Razz- Do it. (Cocks a double-barrel shotgun, then glares at the immature readers who laugh at the word "cocks".)

Percy-(grumbled) Fine. Regular. Wizards don't wear muggle swimsuits, so that edition is just…strange.

George- But enjoyable?

Percy- Shut up before I use an illegal curse on you. (Major blushing).

Razz- Oh yay!! Our very first advice question!! Georgie and Freddy, you guys gotta help this girl's sister out!!! Guy problems!!!

Fred- Well, first of all, thank you for noticing that anyone that's like us is a good choice.

George- Thank you. Hmm… Well any girl that pulled a good prank on me would capture my heart. What about you, Fred?

Fred- I'd definitely say guys appreciate pranks more than the ladies. Like when I put glue on Alicia's seat to get her to go to Hogsmeade with me. She didn't even appreciate the joke.

Madam- I should think not!

Fred- It all depends what kind of prank she does.

George- Personally, I'd try something funny but cute. Like she could fill his locker with bits of paper and have one big one that says, "Gotcha!" And then she could walk by and say, "If you wanna see some real pranks, just watch the master."

Fred- Or she could do a prank on someone he doesn't like or doesn't know. Then, she would catch his attention without risking him getting mad.

Neville- That's smart.

Razz- Extremely. Anyhow, she sent more questions!

Snape- That's idiotic. Why would she separate her questions?

Razz- Leave the readers alone, Severus!

**Yeah! I did mean the band paramore, but in my key pushing excitement forgot to mention who that is. Yeah! Madam Rosmerta! Okay, questions for Draco, who I intend to keep bugging about his love life: what is your opinion about the number of dramione (you and Hermione- yes; Granger) romance on this site? I just looked it up; there are 890 pages under romance with you two! *winks obnoxiously* and what thoughts were going through your head when she punched you in third year? What would you say if I told you she was here behind the computer screen with me right now, ready to read your answer with me? **

**Madam Rosmerta: this may be a kind of personal question, but how did you feel when you found out that you were being imperiused? Request: it's up to the authoress of course, but I'd be giddy if Neville would give Luna a kiss on the cheek! **

**;)Ok, I go away now...**

Razz- Thank goodness she meant the band. And yeah! Madam Rosmerta! Draco, go ahead.

Draco- Personally, I am revolted that so many people think I would ever torture myself by associating with Granger.

Neville & Luna- Hey!!!

Draco- I mean, she's a mudblood.

Everyone but Snape- Hey!!!!

Draco- Anyway, I wasn't ready when Granger hit me in third year. And once she did, I couldn't do much about it. Even Slytherins know it's wrong to hit a girl. I mean, if that's what you want to call her.

Everyone but Snape- Hey!!!!

Razz- Let it go. Madam Rosmerta?

Madam- I was shocked when I found out I had been imperiused. It's a disturbing thought, that someone can have complete control over another's action. When the spell was lifted, it was like I had been awaken from a deep sleep.

Razz- Aww…poor Madam Rosmerta.

Everyone- Awww…

Razz- Speaking of imperiuses, we have a request!!

Neville- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!!! That is definitely a violation of my rights!!! You can't use an illegal curse on me!!!

Razz- Dude, this is the periwinkle room. I can do whatever the heck I want. (Whips out her wand) Now, kiss Luna on the cheek! You are imperiused, young man!!!

Neville-(blushing) Fine… (Very quickly kisses Luna on the cheek. Luna looks surprised and then smiles.)

Luna- Thank you, Neville.

Neville-(surprised) Er…your welcome.

Razz- Awww…

Draco- Gag.

Razz- Thank you, .marauders.!!!! Your questions are appreciated!!!

Razz-(whispered) Psst, Luna.

Luna- Yes?

Razz- Just so you know, Neville wasn't imperiused when he kissed you. ;) Now let us answer some inquiries from **Bittersweet x**.

**I love Neville/Luna :).**

**I have some questions... *cackles evilly...**

**But first! I brought you all this Big Red Box. And it doesn't have anything inside it, but it's a very good present! I mean, it's a box! A big red one! You can, like, pretend you're on fire or something! This is to soothe you into the questions I've prepared *cackles even more evilly.**

**George: Have you ever played a joke on Fred?**

**Fred: Have you ever played a joke on George?**

**George and Fred: What is the worst (worst as in best) joke you have ever played on Ginny and/or Ron?**

**Stan: Are you madly in love with anyone? And I won't believe you if you say no. :)**

**Draco: I compliment you on your hula. Can you do the polka? And if the authoress is still doing requests, I request you do it. While balancing Pig on your head. :) (Don't explode; think of the wonders of the big red box.)**

**Snape: What is the nicest thing you have ever done to anyone in your whole entire life, and Lily does not count.**

**Hedwig: Where did you live before you met Harry? (I'm hoping Neville or someone can translate for you.)**

**Myrtle: I think we're getting to be very good friends. What color are your glasses, and why in the first place do you moan? Plus also: do you have braces?**

**Well, I'd ask more questions, but yeah, got to go. So, hurry up and update!**

**Bye! Have fun with the box! ;)**

Razz- Wee!!! A Big Red Box!!!!!!! Who wants to take a turn in it??

Everyone- Pass.

Razz- George, sweetie, answer the question.

George- Haha… Fred and I usually work together. But not always… This one time, Fred was first trying out for beater and I figured I'd help lighten the mood.

Fred- Ugh, I hate this story.

George- So I put a little itsy bit of Scratcho's Scratchy Scrap-Powder on Fred's broom. **(Yes, I did make that product up. So if anyone uses it, give me credit, okay?)**

Stan- Oh, God no. I saw a fellow who got some of that in 'is shoes once. Terrible stuff.

George- So, while the rest of us are playing, he's squirming around like he's got fire ants in his knickers. It was bloody hilarious!

Fred- Was not; you almost cost my spot as beater

George- That's the kicker! Fred almost lost it, 'til he noticed how hard I was laughing. He put two and two together and started chasing _me_ around with his club. He was able to hit me with the quaffle, both bludgers, and even the snitch.

Fred- When I ran out of things to hit at him, I just chucked my club.

Snape- Let me guess: the Gryffindor captain was so impressed by your beating; he put you on the team.

Fred & George- Yep.

Razz- Freddy Kruger, did you ever play a trick on Georgie Porgie?

Fred- Who's Freddy Kruger? And yes, of course I gave George the pleasure of being pranked. What kind of brother would I be if I didn't?

Percy- Um, a good one?

Fred- Yeah, right. You know you enjoy the torture. Anyway, the best one was in fourth year, at the Yule Ball. George is acting all cool, hanging with Alicia and Lee, when suddenly, out of nowhere, comes…

Everyone-(anxiously) What? Comes what?

Fred- A massive marshmallow!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone-…

(Rewinding sound is heard in background)

Fred- A massive marshmallow!!!!!!!!!!!!

Razz- Okay, wait just a second.

(More rewinding)

Fred- A massive marshmallow!!!!!!!!!!!!

Razz- That's what I thought you said. Um, I never thought I'd say this, but why was a massive marshmallow hurdling at George at the Yule Ball?

Fred- Because I sent it at him with magic.

Razz- Oh, okay. (Knocks on the side of her head to get rid of the part of her brain that is now fizzled.)

Fred- George loves marshmallows. So I thought he would enjoy a giant one.

George- The funny thing is, I ate it later. But it permanently ruined the clothes I was wearing.

Draco- Wow, you Weasleys are mental.

Razz- Moving on… What's the worst prank you played on Ginny and/or Ron?

Fred & George- Hmmm…

Razz- What? No flying smores ingredients?

Fred- Alas, no. But there was the time with the stapler, the hippo, and The Rolling Stones.

Razz- You two have an amazing talent for making the readers say, "What the *BLEEP*?"

George- Thank you. And it's not as crazy as it sounds. Well, yeah it is. See, Dad had just discovered the stapler and, naturally, he decided to staple almost everything he could find.

Fred- Blankets, clothing, paper; nothing was safe during Dad's stapling rampage. So, George and I decided to have some fun with it. :)

Snape- I have a bad feeling about this story.

Fred- Being the nice brothers we are, we gave Ron and Ginny some delicious butterbeer.

Draco- Spiked with what?

George- Liquid magnetism. It made them walking magnets. Everything Dad stapled started getting attached to them. You should have seen their faces. Ron was cursing like crazy and trying to tear the stuff him.

Fred- And Ginny was in hysterics. She thought it was something with the staples. That was until a hippopotamus came smashing through the front room.

Luna- (starts humming _I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas_)

Fred- You see, it had a metal leash around its stomach…

George- Because it was being moved in the zoo. So everyone's screaming like crazy and guess what comes smashing through the back wall?

Fred- The Rolling Stones' tour bus. Turns out they were doing their European tour.

Razz- I want it painted black. (Rolling Stones reference)

Fred- They start screaming about how they're gonna fire their agents and the bus and hippo are just edging towards Ron and Ginny-

George- And Mum and Dad are losing their minds and Fred and I just can't-

Fred- Stop-

George- Laughing! I mean, if you had been there, you would have wet yourself!

Percy- _I_ was there and I certainly did not urinate in my pants. Ginny and Ron probably did, though. You two practically got them killed.

Fred- Oh, we reversed the potion before they got hurt. And Mum and Dad actually laughed about it later.

George- Partially because Dad blamed himself for going berserk with the stapler. (All you readers: honestly tell me in your reviews if you knew berserk was spelled like that. I sure didn't. =D)

Fred & George- Good times…

Razz- Stan, my buddy, are you "madly in love with anyone"? And apparently she won't believe you if you say no.

Stan- Well, there is this one girl… She serves 'ot tea an' crumpets on the Knight Bus. She's got a voice like an angel and eyes like the sea. 'Er name's is Lydia an' if she's reading this, I wan' 'er to know that I-

Razz- OMG!!! I watched My Fair Lady last night and your voice reminds me of her!!!!

Everyone- Wow, Razzmatazz Girl…

Razz- Oh, I'm sorry!

Stan- Yeah, thanks! Some authoress you are!

Razz- No, no, keep going! Where you left off!

Stan- Forget it! The moment's gone! (Storms off angrily)

Razz- Oops. Um… Anyway! Draco, you got complimented on your hula!

Draco- Oh, glee. And, no, I refuse to do the polka! Get it?

Razz- Got it?

Draco- Good.

Razz- Oh, you thought I was serious? DO THE POLKA NOW, DRACO MALFOY!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH PIG ON YOUR HEAD!!!!!

Draco-(grumbled) Fine. (Razz puts Pig on Draco's head. Not easy, since that little bird acts like he's on caffeine 24/7. Draco does the polka. Need I say more?)

Everyone- (MAJOR LAUGHTER Y'ALL!!!!!!!!)

Draco- Why is it always me?? X(

Razz- Oooh. We got a nice question for a certain Mr. Severus Snape.

Snape- Does saving Potter like ten million times count?

Razz- No.

Snape- Hmmm. Well, there was that one time…but I don't like to talk about it really.

Razz- Oh, c'mon!

Snape- It was Christmastime and I was in muggle London looking for some specials potions not available in the wizarding world. I shopped most of the day and, before I knew it, it was getting darker by the second. I continued on my way, looking for a hotel I could stay at. I… I walked through an alley and I heard a noise. Upon investigation, I found there was a- a…

Everyone- A what?

Snape- There was a very young girl in one of the dumpsters.

Razz-(quietly) Oh, no.

Snape- She was no more than a year. She was crying because she couldn't get out. They had already dumped garbage on top of her and she was covered in bruises. When I got her out, I saw that some of them looked faded and older, as if someone had beaten her.

Razz-(quietly) God.

Snape- I cleaned her and healed her cuts and bruises with magic. When she seemed to be in better condition, I walked for hours until I found an orphanage. A nun opened the door and I told her how I had come upon the girl. She welcomed me in and made sure the girl had a place to stay. I thanked her, but she said I was the one who deserved to be thanked; I did the noble thing.

Razz-(quietly) Oh, Severus…

Snape- That was three years ago. I visit her every Christmas, to see how she's doing. Her name is Joy now.

Please think about this,

If only for a few moments.

Someday, it may help you do the noble thing.

Do it for joy.

"Faith, hope, and love are some good things He gave us.

And the greatest is love."

Razz- Um, okay, now that we're all done crying… I believe Hedwig is up next!! Neville, can you translate?

Neville- Sure.

Hedwig- Hoot, hoot, whoooooo.

Neville- I lived in the snowy woodlands of Transylvania.

Hedwig- Hoo, hoo, hoot. Whoooo, hoot.

Neville- Then I was captured and taken to the owl shop in Diagon Alley.

Hedwig- Whooo, hoot, hoo. Hoot, hoot!!!

Neville- Then Harry bought me and I am very happy about that!!!

Razz- Myrtle, you mass of ectoplasm, you're up next!!!!

Myrtle- When I was alive, my glasses were black. Now, they're more of a dark navy. And I moan because no one likes me and I'm miserable and the girls' lavatory stinks!!!!!

Razz- Calm down there, Tex.

Myrtle- No, I don't wear braces!! Do you think I'm completely and utterly hideous??!!!

Draco- Well…

Myrtle- Aaaauuugghh!!!!! (Flies away yet again)

Razz- Well, that's all folks!!!! Catch ya on the flipside!! Now, who wants to play in the Big Red Box???

Everyone- Yaaayyy!!!!

**Author's Note:** Phew, long chapter!! Sorry it took so long to update, but I've been swamped! Anyhow, I think this chapter was funny, what with the twins' stories and Neville's Big Kiss!!!! Massive marshmallow… heehee. I like the rewinding. P.S. I'm sorry if that Snape story ruined the funny mood, but sometimes things happen that aren't remotely funny. Just remember the message, please. Stop the pain. God bless all of you!!!


	7. Chapter 7

The Periwinkle Room

**Author's Note:** Heeeyyyyyyyy!!!!! Sorry it took like five million years to update. Been very overwhelmed by other stories, deviantart, and that silly thing they call school. Enjoy!!!!!!

Razz- Okay, is everybody ready? We've only got one shot at this. (Or however many times I feel like retyping :D)

Fred & George- Let's do it!!!

Snape- Let's get it over with. B7[ (This is the Snape face I made up, BTW)

Razz- Okay, let's go. (Madam Rosmerta starts playing the piano and Luna's on the drums. _Haven't Met You Yet_ by Michael Bublé starts playing on a random stereo.)

**THIS IS FOR CRAZZIE-BUNNIES24!!!!!!!!!**

Razz-(singing) I'm not surprised. It happens each year.

Draco-(singing) I hope your special day's so great you stop reading stories so queer.

Neville-(singing) Asked good questions. We answered them too.

Razz-(singing) This story's made possible 'cause of people like you!

Fred-(singing) We tried so very hard to make you laugh!

George-(singing) We can't deny that you're our better half.

Snape-(singing) I don't really know or care what your age is right now.

Razz-(singing) And I know someday you'll look back on this fic!

And you'll wonder what I was smoking when I wrote it!

Stan-(singing) And I promise you, girl, we took more time than you'd think we would take.

Razz-(singing) So have fun before the glass breaks!

(Applause in background. The characters all bow. Myrtle starts crying about how no one ever sings to her.)

Razz- Hope you enjoyed that, crazzie-bunnies24!!!!!!

Snape- And that you're willing to pay for the broken glass.

Fred- Aw, lighten up. That was fun! Happy Birthday!!

Madam- Let's have some cake!!

Everyone- YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Razz- Happy belated from all your HP pals!!!!!!!!

Author's Note: Sorry for the short chapter!! Promise to include your questions in the next one!!! I'm kinda swamped right now… The next chapter may be the last for a while…

Hi everyone! Hope you missed me and my questions. I love Peeps! They are so cute! Peep peep peep! Sorry but hyper from sugar. So here are some questions:  
Snape: Aw poor Sevvie ok I will ask if the mistletoe can be removed. Please can you remove the mistletoe be removed? ... And be replaced that Severus has to hold a baby penguin in his arms and call it Peatry (Pee-tree). Oh ya... What is your favorite color (besides black, green or silver)?  
Stan: What would you be doing if you were not the Knight bus driver?  
Neville: Would you ever be not afraid of Snape and what kind of ice cream do you like?  
Draco: Hey Blondie i like picking on you but i still like you. What do you like to do in your free time? Besides flying or picking on HP.  
George/Fred: Hey guys! So do you guys think that if you sneezed and you changed different colors is a good prank?  
Ok that's it for now. Here is Peeps to everyone! crazzie-bunnies24

Snapey, you're so mean to me. *pouty face* Wahh... so, to get revenge, I would like to request that you put on this ballerina suit- *hands pink ballerina suit* and magic your hair into blonde pigtails. *evil laughter ensues*  
Gred and Forge: my sister and I both agree that you are AWESOME. She will definitely follow your advice.  
Myrtle: I think you look pretty today. =) Everything'll be fine; don't worry.  
Luna: Thought I'd let you know I decided my hair should be blue AND purple! I'll be so colorful! And my question: I know the authoress really likes pairing you with Neville, but if you had to pick someone else, who would you choose?  
I have a gift for you all: it's the movie Miss Congeniality. *shrug* Just thought ya might watch it. Bye-ni!

.marauders

I had no idea Snape was so awesome. Here ya go, Snape, you can have this ice cream cone as a reward. ;)  
Um…okay. Mademoiselle Rosmerta: Bonjour, mademoiselle. Parlez-vous français?  
(And if the authoress cannot speak French…um…Google Language Tools it. Or something. :D)  
Um, kay now. Fred…do you know anything of the terrible doom that awaits you in Book 7? :'( :'( :'( :'(  
And for all of you...have you even an inkling of who J.K Rowling is?  
And for Neville...have you ever seen the Lord of the Rings? I think you could relate to the character of Samwise...  
And for Stan and/or the authoress, what house are you in? (Stan, I mean.)

Bittersweet x


	8. Chapter 8

The Periwinkle Room Presents:

THE MEGA-CHAPTER!

**Author's Note:** I believe in a thing called love! Just listen to the rhythm of my heart! Um, that's what I'm listening to right now so…just so you know! Sorry for taking soooooooooooooooooo very long to update!

Razz- Welcome new readers! Okay, guys, are you ready for this?

Fred- Woo-hoo!

George- Heck yeah!

Razz- Nice. Well, it's been a while. I went to New York and then my sister's college and some family came down to visit. And I was in the hospital! So now I'm back!

Draco- Yeah, like we were _so_ sad you were gone.

Razz- Don't pretend you don't love me, Ferret-Boy. Anywhoozle, let's get down to business!

Percy- I like business!

Razz- We know… First set of questions comes from **Bittersweet x**.

**I had no idea Snape was so awesome. Here ya go, Snape, you can have this ice cream cone as a reward. ;)  
Um…okay. Mademoiselle Rosmerta: Bonjour, mademoiselle. Parlez-vous français?  
(And if the authoress cannot speak French…um...Google Language Tools it. Or something. :D)  
Um, kay now. Fred...do you know anything of the terrible doom that awaits you in Book 7? :'( :'( :'( :'(  
And for all of you...have you even an inkling of who J.K Rowling is?  
And for Neville...have you ever seen the Lord of the Rings? I think you could relate to the character of Samwise.  
And for Stan and/or the authoress, what house are you in? (Stan, I mean.)**

Snape- I'm awesome? Mmm, ice cream! Thank you, strange girl!

George- *****cough* no *cough*

Razz- Mademoiselle?

Madam- Uh… Bonjour. Je parle du français couramment. Merci pour lire cette histoire.

Razz- Yeeeaaahhh… Fred?

Fred- Terrible doom? What is that supposed to mean?

Everyone- Book 7?

Razz- Uh-oh…

Fred- Do I die in the future? When? Why?

Snape- Well, technically we all die in the future…

Fred- But is it soon? Am I murdered? Do I die in a noble way? I bet I do…I'm brave like that, you know.

Percy & George-(sobbing) I don't want Fred to die!

Everyone else-(sobbing) Neither do we!

Myrtle- You can share my toilet!

Fred- Um, thanks but no thanks. And don't be sad everybody. We all go in our own way. There's no need to cry. Besides, you shouldn't take life too seriously. No one makes it out alive. XD

Everyone- **:'( :'( :'( :'(**

Razz- Next question! (Hides tears)

Draco- J.K. who?

Luna- I thought that stood for just kidding…

Stan- Wait…I know 'oo she is!

Razz- You do?

Stan- Sure! She's a muggle, but she's real fascinated with us wizards, 'specially 'Arry Potter. She says she's doin' some sorta research thing…interviews all types, even Death Eaters I 'ear.

Neville- Oh yeah! She's come to Hogwarts a few times. She interviewed me when all those students were getting petrified. Remember?

Luna & Draco- Yeah!

Hedwig- Hoot hoot! Whoo oo hoot!

Neville- Hedwig says J.K. comes to her sometimes to see what Harry's up to.

Snape- Sounds like a stalker to me.

Razz- Man, I did not see this one coming. (Despite the fact that I wrote it ;D) You're saying the Harry Potter books are based on solid facts?

Draco- Excuse me? They're making books about Plopper? Why the bloody he-

Razz- Language, Draco! This is a K+ fic!

Draco- Why _on earth _would they do that?

Fred- And where can we buy them?

George- Am I in them?

Razz-(rolls eyes) Oh, this is just radical… Thanks a lot Bittersweet x. Let's just forget the J.K. Rowling and books, okay guys? Who wants to play in the big red box?

Everyone- YAY!

(_2 Hours Later_…)

Madam- Woo, that was a blast!

Razz- Um, Neville, buddy. You're up.

Neville- I've never seen Lord Of The Rings, but I've read the books. And I'll take that as a compliment. Samwise is very loyal and a good friend. :)

Razz- Lastly, Stan, what house were you in?

Stan- 'Ufflepuff. 'Ouse of the loyal, the trustworthy, the 'onest-

Madam- Since when have you been honest?

Draco- Well, he's not cunning.

Luna- Or brilliant.

George- Or courageous.

Razz- Let's stop ragging on Stan, okay guys? Sheesh. Next Qs are still from **Bittersweet x**.

Humph…you didn't sing to me on my birthday three weeks ago... LOL joking…  
Hope u don't mind if I ask more Q's?  
Okay first I want to request the lovely Miss Minerva McGonagall! And if you do choose to bring her in, ask her this question:  
Yo! You are just so like awesome because you rock in the fifth book! All right, question...have you ever been to McDonalds? Because people call it McD's…so...do people ever call you…McG? I am thinking of everyone's favorite twins...so this is a question for all three of you. Do you call/get called McG? :D :D :D :D  
And Neville: OMG you are awesome in the fifth book!  
And Luna: OMG...everyone is so mean to you in the fifth book…so my question is, do you ever get bothered by people being mean to you?  
Malfoy, I really hate you in the fifth book, so I'm not talking to you. Oh watcha gonna do?  
(Yes, I have been rereading OOTP :D)  
Fred and George, again, I would like your advice...see there's this person I would like to…kill…what is your opinion on what I should do?  
That's all for now...have fun, bye!

Minerva McGonagall- What on earth? Where am I? What are you all doing here?

Razz- Um, well, Professor…you were requested to be here in the Periwinkle Room to answer questions from fans of your world.

McGonagall- That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard! Twenty points from Slytherin!

Snape & Draco- What? D=

Razz- Dude, I'm not even in Slytherin. I don't even go to Hogwarts.

McGonagall- Did she just call me dude? O_o And yes, I have been to McDonalds. It's a dreadful place. I don't know how you muggles stand it. And unfortunately a few students (glares at Fred & George) do call me McG.

George- It's a form of endearment!

Fred- A compliment!

Neville-(blushing) Thanks Bittersweet, for saying I'm awesome. :)

Razz- Too true. I actually have several sections marked in OOTP and they're almost all about you. :D

Neville-(blushing brighter) Thanks, Razz.

Razz- Luna, doll?

Luna- Sometimes it hurts my feelings if it's a friend who's mean to me…like Ronald or Hermione. But usually I ignore it because I assume they are just having fun in their own way.

Draco- She's not speaking to me? What the heck? Well, I'm not speaking to you! So, HA! What do you say to that, muggle?

Razz- Take a chill pill, Draco. And BTW, Bittersweet, OOTP is probably my favorite in the series.

Fred&George- PRANK HIM!

George- You should glue him to his chair! And then dye his hair and do his makeup!

Fred- Yeah, or cover him in honey and feathers and then force him to parade the halls making chicken noises!

(All other characters glare at them)

Fred- Or, ya know, let be bygones be bygones. Turn the other cheek and all that rubbish.

George- You should plan comebacks for all his possible insults. But be careful they're not too insulting-

Fred- Or you could get in trouble. Not that we ever have ;)

George- Just try to ignore him for the most part.

Razz- Well that's it for you! Next is crazzie-bunnies

**Hi everyone! Hope you missed me and my questions. I love Peeps! They are so cute! Peep peep peep! Sorry but hyper from sugar. So here are some questions:  
Snape: Aw poor Sevvie ok I will ask if the mistletoe can be removed. Please can you remove the mistletoe? ...And be replaced that Severus has to hold a baby penguin in his arms and call it Peatry (Pee-tree). Oh yeah... What is your favorite color (besides black, green or silver)?  
Stan: What would you be doing if you were not the Knight bus driver?  
Neville: Would you ever be not afraid of Snape and what kind of ice cream do you like?  
Draco: Hey Blondie I like picking on you but I still like you. What do you like to do in your free time? Besides flying or picking on HP.  
George/Fred: Hey guys! So do you guys think that if you sneezed and you changed different colors is a good prank?  
Ok that's it for now. Here is Peeps to everyone! **

Snape- I can't believe I'm holding a baby penguin. At least the mistletoe's gone.

Luna- Hello Peatry!

Madam- Aww! He's so cute!

Draco- Yeah, he is- I mean, how…unmanly.

Snape- Um…besides black, green, or silver? That doesn't leave a load of options. I guess I'd have to say…indigo.

Fred- What the heck is an indigo?

Luna- It's like a dark mixture of blue and purple. It's one of my favorite colors. I like all shades of purple. :)

Snape- Blek. I have something in common with Lovegood?

Stan- Y'know where I'd be? I'd be kicking Death Eater butt when I wasn' on the Quidditch field inning games. Wouldn' do nuffink I didn' wanna. I'd 'ave seven girlfriends, one for each day of the week. They'd fawn over my amazin' Quidditch skills and snog me afterwards. XD

Percy- I never thought I'd utter this noise in my life…eww.

Madam- Um, I think she means what you would _actually_ be doing. Not fantasize about doing.

Stan- Oh…I dunno. Prolly workin' at Zonko's or somethin'.

Neville- Um, I don't know if I'll ever get over my fear of Snape because he terrifies me to the depths of my toes and is a recurring figure in all of my nightmares. But I actually kind of respect him for that because he's brutally forced me to stand up for myself and face my fears. So I guess that's good.

Snape- See, I'm helpful!

Everyone- (Rolls eyes)

Neville- Favorite ice cream? Gee, that's a tough one. I like Minty Rain Puddle, but Pineapple Dragon Scale is really good too. Cappuccino Chocolate Chip Bliss is extraordinary for a muggle flavor, no offense. But my favorite would have to be…Melody Mayhem Sundae.

Razz- What the heck is that?

McGonagall- It's a magnificent flavor!

Neville- Once you start eating it, it plays different songs to match whatever mood your feeling. The flavor changes too.

Razz- Sounds awesome!

Draco- Ahem, it's my turn losers. I like…picking on our house elves, hanging out with my minions, and letting everyone know I'm better than them. I also like making up insults for people I don't like.

Razz- Yet the best you can come up with for Hermione is Mudblood… Don't you ever do anything with your family?

Draco- No… Father's always busy at work or his 'other job'. Mother says it looks unsophisticated to spend quality time with family when one can be gaining power elsewhere.

Razz- Well, that's…sad. :(

Fred- That'd be a wicked awesome prank!

George- Why didn't we ever think of that? It's brilliant!

Everyone- PEEPS!

Razz- Time for questions from….marauders.

Snapey, you're so mean to me. *pouty face* Wahh... so, to get revenge, I would like to request that you put on this ballerina suit- *hands pink ballerina suit* and magic your hair into blonde pigtails. *evil laughter ensues*  
Gred and Forge: my sister and I both agree that you are AWESOME. She will definitely follow your advice.  
Myrtle: I think you look pretty today. =) Everything'll be fine; don't worry.  
Luna: Thought I'd let you know I decided my hair should be blue AND purple! I'll be so colorful! And my question: I know the authoress really likes pairing you with Neville, but if you had to pick someone else, whom would you choose?  
I have a gift for you all: it's the movie Miss Congeniality. *shrug* Just thought ya might watch it. Bye-ni!

Snape-(on knees with hands together) Please, Miss Razzmatazz Girl! I am begging you to ignore this psychopath and let me keep just an ounce of dignity! I'm holding a baby penguin for God's sake! ;( ;( ;(

Razz- Well…

Everyone but Draco-(chanting) Pigtails! Pigtails! Pigtails!

Razz-Well, you are one of my favorite characters… How about… we forget the ballerina suit and just do the pigtails?

Snape- Noooo!

Razz- Too bad. (Magics hair into blonde pigtails. Fred & George proceed to take pictures. Draco bites his hands in an effort to withhold laughter.)

Madam- There, there. It actually looks better than you hair normally does. :)

Snape- Shut up. :(

Forge & Gred- Sweet! We give good advice! =D

Percy- That's debatable.

Myrtle- Thank you. I never feel pretty because that darn Peeves is always calling me fat ugly. It's nice to know I have at least one friend, besides Harry.

Razz- But Harry's not your friend.

Myrtle-(sobs and flies away through ceiling.)

Razz- Oops.

McGonagall- You have no tact whatsoever.

Luna- Ooh! Sounds very pretty; I wish I could see it. If I had to be paired with someone besides Neville I would choose Ronald. He's rude sometimes, but he's terribly funny and seems to genuinely like me.

George- No way Ronniekins is living this on down. :D

Neville-(bangs head on wall repeatedly.) Ron! She'd rather be with Ron!

Razz- (I actually support the Luna/Ron pairing a lot too!) Super-sweet! Miss Congeniality! Sandra Bullock rocks! However, first we must answer the rest of .marauders.'s questions.

Well...who's first...I know!  
I would like to request that Draco wear a blue sweater and hat, and brown shorts, and speak in a cockney accent! I love making people cosplay. (The character I have in mind is Luke from Professor Layton, btw. :P)  
Neville: Do you remember any fanfictions you've been in? Out of all your friends, (and enemies) who would you make be in a romantic comedy together? Not including yourself.  
Fred & George: Do you guys think you will ever get out of this room? And do you mind?  
Luna: Would you call your hair blonde or dishwater blonde? Can I request a character? If so, I would love Sirius to be added to the room! Meow!  
Last question is for EVERYONE. Who among you is the most fashionable? o_0

Draco- 'Uh? What 'appened to the clothes what I was wearin'? GAA! My accent? Don't sound nuffink like my voice! I sound like Stan!

Stan- Bloody 'ell. You'd think I 'ave a weird voice or somethin'.

Neville- I remember one wear Luna and I dance. (Blushes) I also remember one called Uncontrollable where I punch Professor Snape.

Snape- WHAT?

Neville-(quickly) Don't worry. I make you cookies later in it!

Razz- The author really needs to update that. (In case they read this)

Neville- Um, I think Ron and Hermione make a nice couple and they're rather funny together so it'd be a good romantic comedy. And maybe Oliver Wood and Katie Bell. I always thought there was something between them.

Razz- Me too. Next, Fred and George!

Fred- Hmm, I don't know if we'll ever get out of here. What say you, brother?

George- Beats me. We'll have to eventually or Mum will go ballistic. Not that I mind. It's fun in here!

Fred-(wraps arm around Razzmatazz Girl) Yeah, I've been having a good time.

George-(wraps arm around Razz's other shoulder) Yeah. Good times.

Razz-(beaming) Especially good right now. ;)

Luna- I would say my hair's more of a dishwater blonde. It's not very vibrant.

Madam- Your hair's beautiful, sweetie. :)

Razz-Yeah.

Neville- Yeah- I mean, it's…nice. (Awkward turtle)

Sirius- Woah! What the heck just happened? (Sirius is currently wearing a towel and holding a rubber duck.)

Razz-(blushing) Oops. (Magics clothes on Sirius. I know some of you might resent me for it LOL)

Sirius- I was just getting out of the shower and…where am I? What's Snivellus doing here? And all the rest of you?

Razz- This is the Periwinkle Room! You get asked questions1! Doesn't that sound like fun?

Sirius- Err…where's Harry and his friends?

Razz- Only semi-minor characters allowed. Anywho, who's the most fashionable? I would say me…

Draco- As if! It wood've been me 'fore this curse on my cloves.

Sirius- No way! I have great fashion!

Snape-(sneering) Yeah, that towel you were wearing looked very trendy.

Razz- I think it's rather obvious. Who here wears fabulous turquoise heels?

Madam- Who, me?

Razz- Of course!

George- Too true!

Percy- I must agree.

Razz- Anyway, let's move on to Monster Carrots!

Um...I'm a newcomer! Hello, everyone.  
First off, you can all call me Carrots. :) Down to business, then.  
Draco: Why won't you reply to my emails? It's very rude to ignore a lady.  
Neville: If you had to be in a fanfiction right now, what genre would it be?  
Madam R: Where did you get your boots?

Everyone- Hello, Carrots! =D

Draco- Aah! She's the one who's been emailin' me? Blast, now she knows where I am! Blimey.

Razz- This accent just keeps getting better and better…

Neville- Hmm, well, I really like humor because they have happy endings. But adventure and suspense are both sort of fun. But then there's romance…I have to go with humor.

Madam- They were a gift from my sister, Roselyn. She said she found them in some muggle store called Charlotte Russe. They're more comfortable than you'd think. :)

Razz- They are rather pretty…Let's move on to another newcomer, Cally Chloe.

**Woah! Awesome. I have to say. This is an awesome idea. Okay, question time XD!  
Firstly, Razz: I know you must feel left out because no one has asked YOU a question, so I will. If you were to be sorted, what house would you be in? (or prefer to be in?)  
Myrtle: Did you, per chance, happen to know or figure out that Tom Riddle was the cause of your death before he became Voldemort? (To anyone who flinches at the name, suck it up.)  
Gred and Forge (or, Forge and Gred, or however you prefer;) ): Just so you know, I think you two are AWESOME! Okay, so question: What was your first prank, and how old were you when you pulled it?  
Madam Rosmerta: I know you don't get too many questions, so here: What was the strangest drink anyone has ever asked for?  
Snape: Aww, poor Snape. Everyone seems to want to cause you pain. Since you are one of my favorites too, I won't ask you anything too embarrassing or request anything too awkward. Okay, anyways, a few questions: How many students do you make cry a day (or week, whichever you prefer), what was the largest sum of points you've ever taken at once (and from whom?), and the most terrible potions mishap you've ever seen (either by yourself or a student).  
Draco: No one seems to like you much either, so same deal with Snape. What is the REAL reason you don't like Harry and Ron? (I know Hermione is a lost cause on you, so I won't bother.)  
LUNA! : I've saved the best for last. Okay. Have you ever seen one of your creatures? (You know, the ones that aren't invisible?) And if you have, would you mind telling me about it? *Bounces up and down in excitement*  
Okay, so, yeah, awesome. That's it for now! Adios!  
**

Razz- Thank you! I'm glad you like it! And I think I might be sorted into Ravenclaw because I'm quite the genius. And modest ;). Or maybe Hufflepuff because I am very loyal to my friends and I try o be very understanding and compassionate with those I care about. Thanks for the question!

Myrtle- I was a little busy being miserable! (sobs) Of course I realized he was to blame once he started offing others.

George- Hmm…gosh that's hard. How old, Fred?

Fred- Well, our very first real prank was when we were three.

George- Oh yeah! That was great, had Mum and Dad in a total panic! We were awfully bored, so we started playing around with Charlie's stuff. Well, he had some of Drooble's Blowing Gum in a drawer…

Fred-…And we happened to stumble upon it. It tasted all good and well, but George and I had other plans for it. We got all of it we could find in the house and then managed to do a growth spell on it…

Razz- Oh no.

George- Oh yes. We were able to magic all over the outside of the Burrow. Took Dad hours to get it off, even with magic.

Razz- Yikes.

Madam- Strangest drink? Oh, I know! This one fellow came and asked for firewisky mixed with snake blood, cinnamon, and grindylow scales. He was drunk as a skunk after drinking that.

Snape-(whistles nonchalantly) What a weird request…

Madam- Actually, he kind of looked like you-

Snape- Moving on! I usually make at least nine students cry a day, but that's only if the first years aren't a bunch of whimpering idiots. The largest sum of points…would be the two hundred points I took from the two morons with the red hair.

George-(insulted) Is he referring to us?

Snape- The worst potions mishap is easily Longbottom's.

Neville-(nervously) W-which one, sir?

Snape- The time you managed to turn my hair green, destroy all my cauldrons, catch Seamus Finnigan on fire, and give everyone in class Dragon Pox within the first five minutes of class.

Neville- Oh, that one.

Draco- The real reason I dislike Potter is because he could be incredibly powerful, but he doesn't take advantage of it. He mocks the Dark Lord and defeats him repeatedly. And I dislike Weasley because…I'm…jealous of him.

Everyone- What?

Draco-(sadly) He's poor as dirt, yet he has more friends and love from his family than I could ever hope for.

Everyone- Aww…

Luna- Yes! I saw the Googly-Eyed Forrester once! Daddy and I were roaming the great land of Switzerland and he had to leave me for a moment to relieve himself.

Draco- Ew.

Luna- And then, for what seemed like years, I watched as the Forrester galloped across a meadow near me. I dared not approach; Googly-Eyed Forresters are known for spitting on threat with toxic saliva. But it was still a beautiful thing to behold.

Razz- That's lovely :) Well, that's all for now! Be sure to send more questions! And have a nice day!

**Author's Note: **Woo! That was a fourteen pager! Sorry again for taking so long! But you guys are so dedicated I couldn't quit! But I will be taking longer to update (not as long as last time) because of my many other activities. And ask Percy more questions 'cause he rocks! And should I stick Arthur Weasley and/or Remus Lupin in here? Be sure to give an opinion!


	9. Chapter 9

The Periwinkle Room

The Chapter Of Shame

**Author's Note:** I do not deserve an author's note. :(

Razz-(takes deep breath before entering Periwinkle Room. She is wearing a HAZMAT suit and looks seriously frightened. The characters are tapping their feet angrily when she walks in.)

Draco- Hey! You suck!

Razz- I know. I'm sorry. :(

Sirius- I was pulled out of the shower for this?

Stan- Oi! 'Ow long do you expect us to sit 'ere waitin'?

Madam- What have you been doing? We haven't answered questions in ages!

McGonagal- Whatever house you're in is losing 50 points!

Myrtle- I should have known it was all too good to be true! No author would want to be my friend for long! (Starts sobbing)

Snape- Honestly, why start a fanfiction if you're going to leave it hanging halfway through?

Razz-(crying) I'm sorry! I've been so busy with theatre, homework, chemistry, my family, camping, my other stories, deviantart, and all the things giving me insomnia!

Luna- There, there. We forgive you.

Percy- Maybe you do. I have better things to do than wait around for an irresponsible authoress.

Fred & George- Shut up, Percy.

Neville- We're not angry with you, Miss Razz. We missed you!

Razz-(sniffs) Really?

Sirius- I suppose there are more important things than fanfiction…

Madam- Of course there are. (I don't know what, but I'm sure there are.)

Fred- Let's show the authoress there are no hard feelings!

George- GROUP HUG!

Razz- I don't really like hugging- (Everyone glomps the authoress, who shrieks, but finally hugs back. Even Draco and Snape get in on the wizard love.)

Razz- If any of you readers are confused, that was my way of apologizing for not updating in the last century. :) Am I forgiven?

Draco- Does it matter if we say no?

Razz- Not really. Now, on with the questions everybody!

Everyone- Hooray!

Razz- **sponge610** is up first!

**Hi, I am going into high school (Grade 8 where I live) and I'm going to the school that none of my friends are. Any advice?**

**I was hoping you could put professor Flitwick in!**  
**Flitwick: You are one of my favorite characters! I'm Wondering, not trying to offend or anything but how are you so short? Are you part elf or just a shrinking spell gone wrong?**  
**Luna: You are my other favorite character! You are Awesome! If a sponknork asked for your jalapeño cheese what would you do?**  
**All: What are your patronus's, could you demonstrate?**  
**Rosmerta: Did you know that most of the guys in that room have crushes on you?**  
**Snape: Other than Lily have you ever been in love?**  
**All: If you were magical creatures what would you be?**

Luna- Talk to every inanimate object you see.

Neville- Just keep to yourself.

McGonagal- Make a good impression on the teachers. This should be your first priority. After all, it's a school, not a social gathering.

George- Try to stay in contact with your old friends over what muggles call the 'internet.' Not sure what it is myself…

Fred- You can use a feletone too.

George- But don't be afraid to make new friends!

Sirius- You'll be popular in no time, as long as you act outgoing and friendly.

Snape-(sneering) I happen to remember you being less than friendly at Hogwarts.

Razz- Okay, now let's welcome Professor Flitwick!

Flitwick- Um, hello everyone. So this is the infamous room everyone's so scared of being taken to?

Razz- You forgot radical and out of this world. But, yeah, the one and only Periwinkle Room! Now answer, man!

Flitwick- As it so happens, I am part elf on my mother's side. That's why that dreadful Umbridge woman tried to kick me out.

Razz- Psh, Umbridge. I can't stand her... Oh, Luna? Question, dear.

Luna- I'd give it to him of course, if I had any on me. If I did not, I would know this was code for 'Sing a Scottish song while snapping your fingers in a fast rhythm.'

Razz- For real? They have code for that? Anyway…patronuses, guys!

Snape- (holds up wand and conjures a beautiful and graceful doe)

Sirius- (mumbles) Psh, what a girl… (Receives glare from Razz and thus, conjures a large, scruffy-looking dog.)

Fred- Mine's rather funny, hehe. (Conjures a small monkey, who immediately starts running around like a maniac)

Razz- (laughs) Monkeys are very playful. (The patronus leaps onto her head and begins grooming her.)

Luna- Mine's a hare, as some of you know. (Her patronus leaps from person to person, giving them a once-over and moving on.)

McGonagal- My patronus is a cat, partially because of me transforming into one. They represent wisdom, you know.

Stan-(blushing) I don' really like my patronus. 's bloody stupid. (Conjures a large goose, which honks rather- well, stupidly.)

Razz- The goose represents a messenger or traveler, though. Therefore, it's perfect for you! :)

(Suddenly, a gigantic patronus-wale swims through the room, causing many residents to scream like girl scouts.)

Flitwick- Oops, sorry everyone. That's mine. The whale is the gentle giant. Rather ironic, isn't it?

Madam- My patronus is a raven. I've always loved them. They are so beautiful. (Please don't think that's me sneaking in my love for the Baltimore Ravens or something…it's me sneaking in my love for Edgar Allen Poe. XD)

George- Mine's less funny than Fred's, but it is more intimidating, if I do say so myself. (He conjures a coyote that runs wildly around the room.) It is one of the many symbols of the trickster.

Draco- (Conjures a ferret. You all saw that coming.) I always thought mine should be something a little more…fearsome. Like a dragon or a snake.

George- Nah, the ferret fits you well. :)

Percy- Mine's a moose. :(

Razz- Moose. Are. Canadian!

Neville- Um, my patronus was always a penguin until seventh year it became a lion for some reason.

Razz- 'For some reason' meaning due to you being a total bad***. (Must physically restrain herself from glomping Neville right then and there.) Eh, moving on…

Madam- Crushes? On me? That's rubbish. Right, guys? (All male occupants are suddenly too busy whistling nonchalantly to acknowledge Rosmerta.) Hmm, on second thought, you may be on to something.

Razz- Um, Severus? I know it's a touchy subject, but…

Snape- No. Nobody else.

Razz- Of course…magical creatures?

Stan- I woul' be a troll!

Fred & George- Leprechauns!

Luna- Crumple-horned snorkack!

Neville- Um…um…

Madam- Siren!

McGonagal- Cat creature!

Draco- Dragon!

Percy- I wouldn't want to be any other species.

Sirius- A Grim! ;)

Neville- Uh…I'd be a…

Snape- Vampire!

Myrtle- Gargoyle!

Flitwick- Giant!

Neville- Oh, I know! I'd be Harry Potter!

(Everyone stares at Neville silently.)

Neville- What? He's _kind of_ a magical creature, isn't he?

Razz- Yeah…let's move on quickly now…to **Bittersweet x**!

**Before I ask you questions (and I've got a LOT of em :D) let me just say...that this chapter...is easily the best out of the bunch! Because of, well, all of it, it's just fabulous. AND! BECAUSE! OF! SIRIUS! Yes, as you may be able to tell he is my favorite character…I write an UNHEALTHY amount of stories about him ;) I don't post very many of them though because most of them are absolutely stupid. Still, I have LOADS of fun writing them. It kind of worries me, a little bit. Oh well, carrying on! Questions! Wait, one more thing! I definitely, definitely, definitely think Remus Lupin should be included in the story. You see he is my second favorite character, seconded only to Sirius =D. Also, I know this is probably pretty stupid, but could, Razzmatazz Girl, work some of your awesomeness and like make James Potter appear? Totally good if you can't, I'm just wondering... :D**  
**Anyhow...**

**Sirius, this is kinda for Remus and James too if they come. While your time at Hogwarts, what was the WICKEDEST prank you played? On whom? Was it on Snape or someone else? Also have you ever locked anyone (*cough* James/Lily *cough*) into a broom cupboard?**  
**Neville, you should totally watch it, it's amazing. I'm actually reading the books now. For a question...hmm…what was the most horrible thing Snape has ever done to you? I suppose that's partially for Snape too.**  
**LUNA! You're fabulous! All right my question(s) is (are)...first off, have you ever been to Ireland? Because I think the Irish accent is absolutely brilliant. And also I know of a very mysterious toppletopped boxapop living in Ireland. I want to know if you've ever seen one. :) Second, do you have any family other than your dad? Third, have you ever been really, really angry with someone? And I don't mean at like Death Eaters or evil people or things like that, like really angry with someone who's a friend?**  
**Fred and George: You guys are awesome. Nothin' else to say. Oh yeah, and did you ever find out who Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs were? (Winks at Sirius.) (And if they're here Remus and James.)**  
**This is waaaay too long…but I really have to add something for Percy :D All righty Percy what was the most evil prank ever played on you by Fred and George? And because I'm mean I want him to say it all by himself, no input by anyone :D**  
**All righty this is waaay too long, sorry! It's just that it's been forever…oh yeah and sorry about the whole JKR thing. :P Glad your enjoying your big red box! See ya all soon,**  
**-Bittersweet x**

Sirius- I'm her favorite? Well, we know she has good taste at least. XD

Razz- (I regret to inform you that I doubt I'll add James 'cause I don't know his personality very well, and I have no idea what age to make him since Remus and Sirius are both adults in this fic.)

Remus Lupin- Huh? Where? What?

Razz- Hola, Remus. 'Sup, dog?

Remus- A Spanish-speaking gangster? Where am I?

Razz-(performs complicated tap-dance routine, ending with jazz fingers) You're in _The Periwinkle Room_! Due to popular demand! XD Welcome!

Draco- Hey, why didn't I get a tap-dance routine when I came? :(

Razz- 'Cause Remus is one of my fave characters and you act like a crank-butt sometimes.

Draco- Psh.

Remus- So, wait, we answer questions?

Razz- Yup.

Remus- Okay. I can deal with that…as long as I can leave once a month.

Razz- Huh? Oh…you got it! (wink wink) Wickedest prank, Sirius?

Sirius- Hmm, let me think…Haha; well my personal favorite would have to be the one I pulled in fifth year.

Remus- That isn't very specific.

Snape- Yeah. You had your share of infamy in fifth year.

Sirius- XD James was all worried about the final Quidditch match of the year. I told him there was nothing to fear, but he wouldn't listen. So, I decided to give the whole school a bit of pre-game entertainment.

Snape- Oh, God. Not that.

Sirius- Yes, that. While all the Slytherin players were getting dressed, I _accidentally _let loose some harmless pixies into their locker room. They all ran onto the field, screaming like pansies, either half or completely naked.

Razz- How humiliating. =D

Sirius- You should have seen it! They were so embarrassed; they didn't get one bloody point!

Remus-(holding back laughter) It was rather funny.

Snape- It was not the least bit funny. X(

Fred- Really? Sounds hilarious to me! Hahahaha!

George- Yeah! Why haven't we thought of that? Hahahaha!

Sirius- And yeah, I locked James and Lily into broom cupboards quite a few times. Although, it wasn't as funny after they started dating…Actually I did to Remus and my cousin, Nymphadora, once before too. It was her first year.

Remus-(blushing) That was awful of you, Sirius.

Razz- Neville, old buddy?

Neville- Hmm, well the day he almost killed Trevor was pretty bad…and embarrassing me in front of Professor Lupin. But the worst was when Professor Snape said I probably got my stupidity from my parents.

Razz- He what?

Snape-(looking down) I had forgotten about them being…you know.

Razz- Just for that, I'm reminding the readers that you have blonde pigtails and are holding a baby penguin. Go ahead, readers. Laugh. :(

Luna- I'm up next! :) I have been to Ireland, several times. It's really beautiful. You know, a lot of muggle films that claim to be set in other European countries are actually made in Ireland. And, oh my goodness, you know of the toppletopped boxapop? I didn't know anyone other than my father and I were aware of it! I've never had the privilege of seeing it, but Daddy has and he says it was one of the greatest experiences of his life. :)

Draco- Your family has a weird definition of 'great'.

Razz- Speaking of familia, Luna sweetheart, do you have any other than your padre?

Stan- What is wif you and speakin' Spanish today?

Luna- My father has too sisters, Zelene and Fiona. Zelene lives in Brazil, where she searches for many of the creatures my father writes about. Fiona has a muggle husband and son, and they live only a little north of us. We try to stay in contact, but it can be hard. None of my grandparents are alive. My mum was an only child, but we have some contact with her cousins. But, for the most part, it's just Dad and me. As for the anger thing…I have gotten quite angry with Hermione a few times when she mocked The Quibbler or my beliefs. And, of course I was enraged when I found out Father almost sold out my friends. Usually, I'm able to stay rather calm.

George- You're a role model for us all. Anyway, no. We never did find out who made the Marauders' Map, did we?

Fred- Nope. We spent forever trying to figure it out, decode the names, but no luck.

Remus- I personally have no idea who it might have been. (whistles nonchalantly)

Sirius- Whoever made it must have been a total genius.

Razz- Heehee. Okay, Percy Jackson, you are up next!

Percy- Are you serious? What have I done to deserve this? Ugh…well, if you must know, I was 17 when Fred and George pulled what I would say was their most evil prank on me.

George- _Must not-_

Fred- _give input._

Percy- I was being inaugurated as the new Head Boy of Gryffindor in front of he whole school. Of course, my wonderful brothers could not let me just have one special event to myself, so they…put a truth spell on me.

Razz- A truth spell? That's it?

Percy- Well, it was sort of extreme. I didn't just tell the truth; I said whatever I was thinking…so when Dumbledore…oh, can we just have a flashback for Merlin's sake? This is too painful.

Razz- I'll assume the questioner doesn't mind, so yeah, let's do the time warp again! (Does the Time Warp dance from Rocky Horror Picture Show and wavy lines appear around the room. The characters and readers may now enjoy a small flashback of Percy's inauguration.)

_Dumbledore- Welcome to the inauguration of Head Boy and Girl. How are you feeling today, Mr. Weasley?_

_Percy- I'm feeling very well, mostly because I was snogging Penelope Clearwater ten minutes ago. (His eyes bulge and he quickly covers his mouth. Several of the seventh year boys whoop and whistle.)_

_Dumbledore- Yes, well…moving on…Do you, Percy Weasley, swear to take on the full responsibilities as Head Boy of Hogwarts?_

_Percy- I wouldn't be standing here of I didn't, now would I? (Lets out small shriek.) I mean, I mean, yes I do, Headmaster Dumbledore sir!_

_Dumbledore-(conceals smile) And do you swear to obey the professors of this school and do your best to uphold their doctrines?_

_Percy-(takes a small breath and tries to choose words carefully) Yes I do. (Cannot restrain himself) As long as it doesn't include that greasy-haired maniac wanker Snape! (Covers his face as the Gryffindors erupt in cheers.) _

_Dumbledore-(now smiling openly) You might want tread carefully with the next question. Do you swear to watch students' affairs from all perspectives and to treat each one equally?_

_Percy- (mumbles something into his hands)_

_Dumbledore- What was that? (Somewhere in the room, George and Fred high-five.)_

_Percy- (glares at Dumbledore) I will be sure to watch Penelope's affairs from every angle I can, but you can bet your arse I won't treat her the same as I do those Slytherin gits. _

_(Slytherins boo, Penelope practically faints, and everyone else cheers louder than ever.)_

_Dumbledore- Quiet down now. Finally, do you swear to react calmly to all situations and never abuse your powers for personal gain?_

_Percy- I do, headmaster...except right now. (Turns toward Gryffindor table.) Because if Fred and George think I'll react calmly to this, they are in for ONE HELL OF A SURPRISE! (Said twins get up and flee while laughing hysterically; Percy chases after them, cursing and speaking much more violently then he ever would with out the spell._

_Dumbledore- Then I dub thee, Head Boy of Hogwarts. (Everyone cheers!)_

(Flashback ends. All characters are in hysterics, except Percy.)

Razz-(catching breath) Wow…that was…a totally different side of you. Haha, I'm sorry, it's just…I'm really not.

Luna- Everyone seemed to enjoy your inauguration very much.

Percy-(blushing) Shut up…can we just get on with it?

Razz- You betcha. As it so happens **Bittersweet x** submitted an ungodly amount of questions, so let's get all hers done now, shall we?

**I know by this point everyone probably hates me but last night as I was dreaming...well not really, I mean to say an insane desire to ask questions came to me especially after rereading this entire story and wanting to throw a party cuz I was laughing so hard and before I was sad…and now I sound like Moaning Myrtle going on about myself (sorry Myr!) so on to my questions.  
Myrtle: I haven't asked you questions for quite awhile, have I? All right, before you died, didja have any friends? I mean you must've had ONE friend at least...and after you died, in between Harry+Ron+Hermione and Draco, did you get any visitors?  
Also Sirius, this is a bit of a meaaaaaan question, but did you ever have dreams in Azkaban? Were they good or baaaaad?  
That's all for now. Because you all prolly want to hit me real hard right about now, if you go to the Big Red Box, you may or may not find a Big Red Tree. **

Razz- Ah, I'm glad to hear my story cheered you up. :)

Myrtle-(sniffs) I had a few friends in Hufflepuff, but none that really cared about me. No one liked me.

Draco- Please, spare us the waterworks.

Myrtle- I thought you cared about me! …Anyway, Hannah Abbot was always nice when she came to my bathroom. But overall, Harry and Draco were my only real friends.

Draco-(whispers) I am not her friend.

Razz- Whatever you say. Sirius, deep question for you!

Sirius- (looks all angsty and dreamy for the fangirls) I had dreams in there…for a while. At first they were a mixture. When I slept as a human, they were terrible dreams about death and my friends. The dementors still affect you when you sleep. When I slept as a dog, they were normal, sometimes good. But eventually…I lost so much of myself that I no longer dreamt.

All- Awww…Ooh! Tree! (Start building treehouse)

**Hi!  
*hides as characters scream and try to whack her over the head with bananas***

**ANYWAYS! I'm not here to torture anyone today, so get over it. I have two questions, because I can't wait for the next update!**  
**1) This is for Ms. Razz :) First of all I love your name, k? And also…so this is before, or maybe after, Sirius is sent to Azkaban (sorry if that causes an uproar) and before Sirius d- *remembers how insane everyone went over Fred* *is still being pelted by bananas* er, before, you know, Sirius, uh, went and had a fight with his cousin! Speaking of that cousin, I know the room's getting full but may I request Miss Bellatrix? Yeah, ANYHOW, back to my question. This is also after George loses an ear but before Fred dies (sorry mate.) It's after second year and after sixth year, or at least after Madam Rosmerta got imperio'd (btw, I like Charlotte Russe except when I am dragged out of the bookshop to go there :D) and it's before ANYONE seems to have died.**  
**My question is…**  
**WHEN IS THIS STORY SET?**  
**(I will accept the answer 'always and never.')**  
**2) Hi Sirius! Did you always hate Regulus?**

Razz- (I'm keeping out Bellatrix just 'cause I think everyone would have an aneurysm and I wouldn't be able to resist beating the crap out of her.) Um…(looks around awkwardly) Well, in all honesty it is always and never. It's whenever my wonderful readers decide based on their questions. :)

Snape- Suck-up.

Sirius- No, I didn't. I mean, he was always a git, but he was my brother. But when he became a Death Eater, that was it. I wanted nothing to do with him. But, I don't know, hate? I'm not sure I could ever hate my Regulus.

Razz- (uh, I accidentally erased your questions under the assumed name, so you can resubmit them if you want.) And questions from **Cally Chloe**!

**Oh, hey look, I'm back! I'm finding this strangely addicting... anywho...**  
**First of all, I demand Remus. :D Alrighty.**  
**Razz: No problemo! And, for your question, how did you come up with this amazing fanfic?**  
**Myrtle: Oh, er... sorry. Right, of course. Okay, Question- what was the first thing you did after, uh, dying? And who found your body?**  
**Forge and Gred: Wow. Only three? Somehow that is unsurprising... anyways, was there ever a time when the two of you were separated for a long period of time? And if so, how did you cope?**  
**Madam Rosmerta: Oh, that is a strange drink... *looks pointedly at Snape* and, Do you have any kids? Did you ever want any?**  
**Snape: Ooh, that mishap does sound pretty bad... (sorry Neville...) how did you manage to clean that mess up? And what did said red headed twins do for you to take two hundred points?**  
**Draco: Aww, that was actually a wonderful answer. I wish you could have Ron's love from his family and friends but then of course, you wouldn't be the same Draco we all know and love. Alrightly, let's think of a question for you... aha! When did you first display that you had magic (accidental) and what did you do?**  
**Luna: Ooh, that sounds beautiful? *sighs* I wish I could have seen it... okay, what is your favorite candy? (Wizarding or muggle)**  
**Neville: I didn't ask you a question last time, but I wanted to ask everyone something this time, so no one was left out... okeydoke, do you think that if you didn't have Snape as a potions professor, that you could be good at potions?**  
**McGonagal: Hi Minnie! Can I call you that? Anyways, I wanted to ask, when did you decide to be a transfiguration professor? And who is (or was) your favorite student?**  
**Remus and/or Sirius: Hiya you two! Okay, so, when did the marauders (namely who) discover your furry little problem? What had happened for them to find out? And, did (or does) Sirius ever make jokes about Remy's "time of the month"? Hope that was vague enough to those who you don't want knowing...**  
**Percy: Hey Perce! I wanted to ask you, what happened to Penelope? Did you sorta drift apart after graduation? Or was it a breakup? Do tell.**  
**Uh, and that's about it! I tried to give everyone a question, and if I didn't, pretend I did and answer anyway! *Disappears in a puff of INDIGO smoke***

All- Oooh indigo…

Razz- I actually saw someone else writing a similar fanfic, but they didn't have some of my favorite characters. So I decided I had to step up and stand for the semi-minor and minor characters! (Looks dramatically into distance)

Myrtle- For a while, I just sat in the bathroom. The whole thing was very traumatic and confusing. As it so happens, Professor McGonagal found my body when I didn't show up for Transfiguration.

McGonagal- It was quite awful. I never want to find a dead student again.

Gred and Forge- Let's see…well, second year we managed to only have one class together, so we didn't see each other much.

Madam- I don't have any children, sadly. I've never been married. (All the guys waggle their eyebrows at her)

Snape- How did I clean it up? Silly girl, I made Longbottom clean it up! He's the idiot that made the mess.

Neville-(mutters incoherently)

Snape- And incidentally, it was during their second year, when they so tragically only had Potions together, that the twins lost those points.

Fred- Tell 'em what we did!

Snape-(rolls eyes) They made their cauldrons into a cannon that shot shampoo at me.

Razz- Hahaha, you guys never cease to amuse me!

Draco- Hey, shut it, it's my turn.

Razz-(smacks the back of Draco's head, making him shriek)

Draco- Sorry…anyways, I was only a couple months old actually. Mother had told a house elf to bring me hot milk but the fool was taking forever. So when my parents came back into my room, the whole thing was overflowing with chocolate milk.

Neville- CHOCOLATE…(drools)

Luna- Hmm, my very favorite candy…I will have to go with…Drooble's Bubble Gum, although Whoppers come in a close second. What candy do you like?

Razz- She can't answer right now, Luna.

Luna- Oh.

Razz- Anyways….Nevy?

Neville-(still a little teary at the mention of Drooble's) Um, no. I don't think Potions could ever be a good subject for me. But if I had a, er, nicer teacher, maybe I could be a bit better.

Snape- Pssh, as if.

McGonagal- You may call me Minnie if you like. I knew since my sixth year that I wanted to teach Transfiguration. I always excelled at it and I wanted to help others succeed in the subject as well. As for the second question, I do not like to pick favorites naturally, but I must say there are students who stand out. Hermione Granger for one…Remus Lupin for anther.

Remus- Thank you very much, Professor. :) As for my, erm, secret…well, they'd been growing more and more suspicious as I missed school each month. They also noticed that the Womping Willow was planted when I came.

Sirius- Of course, we went through quite a few theories first…we thought you were a troll, too young for school, a girl-

Remus- You thought I was a girl? (That's actually another person's fanfiction, but it was funny, so I threw it in there.)

Sirius- We considered vampire, but that didn't really fit you. And yes, I always teas Moony about his 'furry little problem.'

Razz- Heehee, furry little problem…Percy? What's the deal with Penelope?

Percy- Eh, it was a mutual break-up. We drifted apart a bit after school. I had less time for her because the ministry and she moved to Scotland, so it was kind of inevitable. No harm, no foul.

Razz- Okey dokey, next up is our very own **.marauders.!** :)

**Percy: What's your favorite word?**  
**Severus: Well, thank you for recognizing that I am a psychopath. HAHAHAHAAHAH! For that I'll let the pigtails come down. *Respects* Question: Would you like a pet zebra?**  
**Draco: ...Sorry, I can't think of a question for you. How would you like a complementary muffin basket instead? Be sure to share, dear. If you don't I'll take it back. :|**  
**Remus! Bring Remus in! The more Marauders the better! :3**  
**I have a gift for you all. It's...a virus! :D ...Kidding. It's actually a stage and theater equipment, as well as a magic costume box. Now, if you want to put on performances, you're set! That reminds me...if you were all to put on a performance of The Wizard of Oz, who would play who?**

Percy- My favorite word is…tintinnabulation.

George- That's almost as dumb as your Victoria's Secret collection. ;)

Percy- Shut up.

Snape- Yes! No more ridiculous pigtails!

All- Awww…

Snape- And…a pet zebra? No thanks; I'm allergic.

Draco- Muffins! Pssh, I am way too cool for muffins. They're just ugly cupcakes.

Razz- In that case, the rest of us will eat them.

Draco- On second thought, I'll take a few. (Grabs handful of muffins)

Razz- Oh, that's a good question! Okay…McGonagal would be Aunty Em. Neville would be the cowardly lion. Madam Rosmerta could be Glenda the good witch. Percy would be that cranky gatekeeper guy. Stan would be one of the wicked witch's minions who wear those funny Russian hats. Fred and George would definitely be flying monkeys. Sirius would act as the Scarecrow. Remus would be the Tin Man because he doesn't realize how wonderful he is. Myrtle would be…the witch that dies. Draco can be a munchkin. Snape is the Wicked Witch of the West and Luna can be Dorothy. And I guess that makes me the Wizard!

All-…

Razz- Oh yeah, I guess that a lot of muggle to process…sorry. :/ Anywhozzle, let's hear from **crazzie-bunnies24**.

**I think Remus Lupin should be in here. Definitely!**  
**Taste the Rainbow! Wow skittles are cool. Oops… question time!**  
**Snape: Wow! I like indigo too! Don't be mean to Peatry or put him in any potions. Or Else! No pigtails let's put dreadlocks in. Oh and if you were an animagus what would you be and why?**  
**Stan: I knew you would say that. What is your favorite color besides Hufflepuff colors?**  
**Draco: GET A LIFE! (Sends Peatry to poop on his shoe) You sound like a girl with no real life and you definitely need new material.**  
**Fred/George: Thanks for liking my prank but it needs to be tested and I think you need to test it on... DRACO!**  
**McGonagal: Hello! I'm very glad that your here with the group. I like you but you need to loosen up some. Let your hair down once in awhile. Oh yeah what would be you animagus be if not a cat?**

Razz- Man, you really are in high demand, Remus!

Remus-(blushes) Um, thank you.

Snape- Ugh, are you kidding me? I just got rid of the pigtails! (Struggles to comb out dreadlocks) And for the record, I would be a bat because they can fly, have sonar, and bite people.

Razz- And because they represent BATMAN! (Sorry, I'm a big fan…I have a Batman fic if anyone wants to R&R *winks*)

Stan- A'em, it's my question folks. Uh…my favorite color…I'm gonna say cerulean blue. (X Files reference)

Draco- I hate you! You're a total loser!

Stan- 'Oo, me?

Draco- No, this idiotic questioner. She's got a vendetta against me. Gaa! Penguin poop!

(George quickly flicks his wand, putting sneezing spell on Draco. Fred stealthily throws a pepper shake at his face. Draco sneezes and turns highlighter yellow.)

Draco- What the? Ugh, this girl is killing me!

McGonagal- I will be sure to 'let my hair down' more often, strange reviewer. And I would like my animagus to be an owl if it were not a cat. They're very majestic and wise.

Razz- Coolio. (Draco sneezes and turns hot pink. Everyone giggles like schoolgirls.) Moving on, we have **ADemonNamedGrace**.

Sirius- I don't answer to demons, whatever their name is.

Razz- Too bad!

**Hey, this idea is great! Alright, forgive me it's midnight and I've had three sodas.**  
**Draco: All we heard about in the books is Harry, what were your adventures in school? And why do you hang out with Pansy, I mean, eew.**  
**Neville: Are you the real chosen one?**  
**Luna: Who or what took my glasses, and why?**  
**Everyone: If you had to fight a dragon, who in this room would you take with you?**

**I know the rooms crowded, but could Dean and Seamus just visit now and again? I adore those guys. :) Everyone: Where do you sleep in that little room?**

Razz- Why, thank you. Your opinion is very important to us and we would love for you to fill out a comment card. (Smiles robotically)

(Dean and Seamus pop in.)

Seamus- Woa, what was that?

Dean- I don't know, man.

Razz- Timmy. (Sorry, dumb reference.) Anyway, you boys are lucky enough to be in the… wait for it…wait for it…(fireworks go off) Periwinkle Room! Not to be confused with the Lavender Room, which is totally different. But don't worry, you can kind of come and go as you please. Draco, hon, you got the Q's.

Draco- In all honesty my school days weren't as eventful as Potter's. Mostly because I didn't moronically run around with a Mudblood and a ginger to fight The Dark Lord. (Receives glares from the Weasley brothers.) And I must agree, Pansy is rather annoying and a bit of a bi-

Razz- Draco!

Draco- Oh, erm, well let's just say she's unpleasant/ But she's obedient enough and she…kind of never leaves me alone. It's rather stalkerish. :/

Neville- I don't think I'm the Chosen One…everyone says it's Harry.

Razz- Everyone also says Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK.

Neville- I don't understand that reference.

Razz- Forget it. Luna?

Luna- Oh my, I'm not sure. Of course scrumptycobbles have kleptomaniac tendencies, but it's also possible that the nargles have simply made you forget where you placed your glasses. You better stay away from mistletoe.

Razz- Very good advice. Now, who would you take to fight a dragon?

Draco- Professor Snape.

Madam- Professor McGonagal.

Fred- Forge!

George- Gred!

Remus- Padfoot.

Sirius- Moony. (High fives Remus)

Neville- Professor McGonagal.

Myrtle- It doesn't matter. I'm dead either way.

(Dean and Seamus bump fists to represent their undying friendship.)

Luna- Neville. :)

Percy- Ugh, I'd have to say one of my crazy brothers.

McGonagal- Lupin.

Stan- Myself. (Everyone stares.) What? I could take on a dragon.

Snape- I hate to say it, but I'd have to bring the authoress.

Razz- Woot woot! Road trip with Severus!

Snape- On second thought…

Razz- Next…where does everyone sleep? Sleeping bags of course! I magicked them to float in the air above piles of bubble wrap, so if anyone tries to escape at night, they fall on very noisy material. The snapping wakes me up, we tussle, and everything goes back to normal.

McGonagal- Or what passes for normal these days.

Razz- And the last questioner we have is **Monster Carrots**!

**Draco: Why do you even HAVE email, much less a computer? Ha! I knew it...you have a secret obsession with muggle stuff. Admit it! :D**  
**Percy: Are you afraid of loud noises?**  
**Sirius: Lots of people seem to assume you were a bit of a playboy in your Hogwarts years. Is this true?**  
**Stan: In your line of work, you must meet a lot of interesting people. Have you ever met, say, a singing android, or perhaps a guy shouting, "Delete! Delete! Delete!" while writing in a notebook?**  
**All: What can you absolutely not leave home without, and what would you do if you forgot it?**

Draco- Gaa! No, of course not, I deny that! I hate muggle stuff! I just happened to set up an email account because…because…(sputters for a few seconds) next question! (Hides in corner, deleting email account)

Percy- That's absurd! Of course I'm not afraid of loud noises.

Razz- (claps hands behind Percy)

Percy- Aah!

George- (pops bubble wrap)

Percy- AAH!

Razz- Hehe, moving on…(Hey, was that a reference to A Very Potter Musical?)

Sirius-(does that thing guys do where they flick their nose to looks col and seductive) Well, I don't like to brag-

Snape & Remus- Yeah right.

Sirius- But I had my fair share of luck with the ladies when I was in school. ;) But I had serious relationships too.

Stan- Mmm, I don' know 'bout the android, but the Delete bloke gets on several times a year. 'E's bloody creepy…an' I can' leave 'ome wiffout my 'at. Or else I'd get fired.

Snape- I can't go anywhere without the apology letter I wrote to Lily.

Razz- ),:

Luna- I always have my radish earrings, even if I'm not wearing them. They were mother's.

Neville- I always carry at least one of the wrappers my mum gives me.

Percy- My briefcase is a must for work.

Madam- I can't leave without a brush and a bit of makeup in case I need a touchup.

Dean- I never go anywhere without a copy of the daily Prophet, so I know what's going on. My parents are muggles, so they can't tell me anything about the wizarding world.

Seamus- I carry…erm…a picture of me mam.

Razz- Aw, that's sweet. But all I have room for since this is a 20-page chapter! Again, sorry for the ridiculous wait. But I think to prevent this situation maybe you reviewers should limit yourselves to like five questions per review? And no, Bittersweet x, that doesn't mean you can just submit multiple reviews with five questions each! :) Thank you for you loyal reading, but I can't handle this many questions haha. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


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